2/28/2014- “No Southern Cuisine For Brace-Face”

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Hey Mikey,

Okay this is going to sound wierd but I don’t want my boyfriend going down on me. He has braces and I’m afraid they will get stuck inside of me. He insists I let him do that when he have sex, but I’ve managed to stop him. They won’t be off for another six months.  His birthday is coming up and he explicitly stated he wants me to let him do that.  I’m not with it. What should I do?

-Knees Locked Together

***Knees Locked Together, your pen just laughed me to tears. I’m sorry but that is hilarious.  Now getting to the business at hand, I have to tell you there aren’t any documented incidents of what you’re so afraid of happening. However, if you’re so uncomfortable then don’t do anything you don’t want to. It’s your body and sex life, take control! Talk to your boyfriend and tell him your concerns. I think you should safely experiment using a dental dam (you can get them from your local free health clinic) and go from there. Good lick! I meant luck, lol!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post. Be sure to pick a code name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

2/28/2014- “Kissing Cousins”

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Mikey…

I am beyond mortified…like so much so I want a tree to fall on me. I recently went to a family reunion and found out the first guy I ever had sex with is related to me. We are second cousins! My great-grandmother had eleven children and they all spread out across the country after she died so I’m always meeting new cousins anytime I ever go back to visit. I just never imagined he’d be one of them! What should I do? That was incest and he still looks at me like he wants to rip my clothes off even though he now knows we’re related?

-Feeling Sick

***Feeling Sick, sit down, catch your breath, take some Tums, and have a ginger ale. Everything will be fine you have done nothing wrong.  You didn’t know he was your cousin at the time, blame that on your elders. It’s the responsibility of the elders in the family to maintain a family tree and gather together so you know who your kinfolk are. Now that you know, even if he absurdly tries something with you, you know to make him knock it off.  Kissing a cousin unknowingly is innocent. Kissing a cousin knowingly and sleeping with him is a whole other “I” word. Be a good and sane girl.

Scandal- “Ride, Sally, Ride”

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Scandal is back and began with business as usual in the White House. Olivia takes charge of Fitz’s Staff telling them exactly what must be done to keep him in office. Sally announces she will be running against him, while still remaining vice president.  Everyone is taken aback, especially Fitz. Later in the Oval Office, Fitz announces he will choose his former lieutenant governor, Andrew Nichols, as his new VP. Olivia advises against it, but Fitz refuses to budge. Charlie reassures Jake of his loyalty, while the former assures him Quinn will never be apart of B613.

David plays Sally’s murder tape to James. The latter rescinds his offer to help now that he works for the White House. Olivia researches and interviews Andrew for the VP position, she warns him running with Fitz could ruin his political brand beyond repair.  Later, Olivia meets with her father to offer an apology for him being replaced at B613. Rowan rails against her, admonishing her for trusting Fitz. He promises to use her as a weapon against him. He also warns her to run from the White House, promising Fitz will not make it to the end of his term; and to begin grieving now!

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2/27/2014- “Ouija Board”

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Hey Mikey,

I am by no means a religious woman, but even I know there are some thing people, let alone children should not tamper with. My daughter just got a ouija board for her birthday from one of the neighbor’s kids. I wanted to make a return the gift at her party, but her father advised me against doing it right then and tbere. I really don’t want that in my house how do I tell my neighbor I would like to return their gift?

-S. Peters

***S. Peters, I see where you’re coming from.  I believe it is only a game, but it’s rumored use does make me wonder. I think you should talk to your neighbor and CALMLY explain how you feel and that you don’t want your daughter playing with it. If they refuse to take it back toss it, donate it, or sell it away. Remember there is a tactful way to do and say anything.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post. Be sure to pick a code name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

#ThrowbackThursday- “Xena: Warrior Princess”

"Xena" portrayed by Lucy Lawless
"Xena" portrayed by Lucy Lawless

 It is a no longer a secret that some women fight better than most men. For us kids of the eighties and early nineties this was reinforced into us every Thursday night when Xena dominated the small screen. The “Scandal” of her times, this now iconic show defied every stereotype you could think of. Whether she was taking down some warlord, wooing some hardened king, or going toe to toe with the gods themselves this warrior woman was always making the impossible possible!

Besides major butt kicking we saw the unlikely love story of Xena and her sidekick Gabrielle unfold. Growing from an annoying blonde bard, to a ferocious stick fighter, and later a full fledged warrior this little lady at times stole the show. It was generally understood the pair were an item, but the writers of the show did an awesome job encoding their lesbian relationship. They even had a daughter via “immaculate conception.” All and all, her signature weapon, the Chakram, is still one of the most memorable fantasy weapons to date. In my opinion, only the Sword of Omens, the Power Sword, and Batman’s utility belt amaze me more.

Another thing that I find interesting about the show are the villains. The Warrior Princess went up against Caesar, Callisto, and Ares just to name a few. The show also introduced us to other ancient cultures and other pantheons of gods. To put it simply it’s time for a reboot! Xena deserves to return back to television and eventually the Big Screen.

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My Guiltiest Pleasures…- “Mellie Grant”

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By now everyone in America is familiar with the tantalizing affair between Fitzgerald “Fitz” Grant and Olivia Pope. In fact, it is one of the few instances where millions of people are rooting for the other woman to win. Few realize, however, what makes their determination so intriguing is Fitz’s wife and First Lady, Mellie Grant ‘s plots to keep them apart!

First off, let’s just all admit Mellie Grant is the most awesome First Lady to ever hit fiction. Whereas real life First Ladies have all come off as poised and on a pedestal. The “behind the scenes” motif of “Scandal” gives us a rare glimpse of a First Lady actually being human. Mellie has faults, insecurities,  a sense of entitlement, and is an expert at political war fare. Most women in her position would succumb to their powerful husband’s wishes, but not this woman. She has got dreams of doing it big and no one, not even the President of The United States is going to stop.

Until recently, I like so many others, was not a Mellie fan. I found her to be distant and cold, almost feeling as though she pushed Fitz to cheat on her. I felt Olivia provided him with everything she refused to give. However, after watching the episode, “Everything’s Coming Up Mellie,” I realized we all owe her an apology.

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2/26/2014- “Take A Hint (He’s Going To Let You Down)”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m in a very confusing position with this guy. Him and I started “talking” late November and we both seemed to have the same perspective on relationships, as well as many other things. I’d just gotten out of a bad break up and he wasn’t pushing me, but helping me along the way. (This new guy is also my neighbor)

Upon moving back to ATL after Christmas break, he brought me roses and asked me on a date. I said yes, and we both agreed it was by far the BEST date either of us had. Intriguing conversations, similar families, sooo much in common. We got home and he spent the night; no sex of course! We stayed up and just picked each other’s brains. I asked him his impression of me and whether he could see himself eventually, possibly being in a relationship. He said he definitely can, but take it one day at a time. I agreed! To me, one day at a time means casual dating, but not being tied down to each other; going on frequent dates, just hanging out. However, I always have to text/call him first otherwise ill NEVER hear from him; I also have to ask him if we can go on a date, to which the answer is always no.

I brought this up to him and he simply said, “You’re my neighbor, and I admire you”. Are you serious?! He introduces me as his neighbor, and doesn’t like people to see us together that much. I’m beginning to feel like I’m falling for him while he is at a standstill. Recently, he moves away whenever I go in for a kiss, or he’ll kiss me and ask,” Are you happy now?” As if I’m a burden or nuisance. He then confesses that he isn’t an affectionate person, and that he has internal conflict. All I can think is, “why did he pretend to be someone he’s not to impress me, when he isn’t into me?” I want to wait it out, to see that maybe with time he’ll be more open to a relationship; or, am I wasting my time and risking potentially getting my heart broken again? What worries me the most is that he jokes about me cutting him off and being happier without him, or him cutting me off so that I can “move on” so to speak. I repeatedly express my feelings to him; I adore your personality, You make me want to grow and truly experience live at the fullest, You make me crave more of everything, I feel 100% comfortable with you and most importantly myself when you’re around. His response, every time, is, “It’s beautiful that you feel that way; you’re cool” followed with a pinch of my nose. I feel like he has feelings for me, but he doesn’t want to evoke them, but maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part. What steps should I take next Mikey, what do I say, and what do I do? When things between us are great, they’re AMAZING; I can tell in his eyes and vibes that he sees that too. I’m falling for this guy. Please help.

-The Unreciprocated Neighbor

***Unreciprocated Neighbor, this quite a situation. First off, dating a neighbor isn’t the best choice. You never want to shit where you sleep. If or when things go south you could find yourself in an uncomfortable living situation.   Nevertheless, I have to let you know he is going to let you down. He, in his own passive – aggressive way; is trying to let you down easy and as painlessly as possible. You, my darling, just aren’t taking the hint.

Hints:
1. He moves away when you try to kiss him.
2. He excuses his lack of affection on inner turmoil.
3. He tells and jokes with you that you would be better off without him.
4. You initiate contacts and dates with him. Pursuit has now become one-sided.

Trust me you will know when a guy wants to be with you. He’ll almost be like a bulldog, constantly around, and in frequent contact with you to ward off any other suitors. When someone tells you that you are better off without them, even if they say so jokingly, BELIEVE THEM! Beware falling for someone who is not falling for you. You’ll find comfort in the pavement before you find it in their arms. MOVE ON.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post. Be sure to pick a code name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

2/26/2014- “Your Son Is Not Your Man”

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Mikey,

My son is really trippin! He just bought me some clothes and a rose gold bracelet for my birthday. I’m really disappointed, I kind of expected him to go all out for my 54th birthday. When his wife turned 25 last week he threw her a lavish parties, got her a diamond tennis bracelet, and sent home a trip to New York with two of her girlfriends. I feel cheated! I was his mother and support system all of his life and this is how he repays me. He, and my daughter-in-law feel like I’m being ungrateful. But I just want him to see that I’m the leading lady in his life and I should be treated. If she had a close relationship with her mother then she would understand it too. How do I explain to my son he is dishonoring me? Because he just ain’t getting it!

-Mad Maxine

***Mad Maxine, I find your response to your sons’ gifts to be appalling. You have dishonored yourself. There are mothers worldwide who don’t get so much as a text message from their children when it comes time for their birthdays. The fact that you are comparing and contrasting gifts with his wife does indeed prove you are ungrateful.  Allow love me to clear a few things up for you:
1. As an adult, he has the right to spend his money however he chooses and on whomever he wants.
2. You are no longer the leading lady in his life, he is now married! His double consciousness must solely be for her and any children they may have.
3. He is your son, not your man! Anything he does for you is from this point on, is out of the goodness of his heart– not a requirement!
I know women who would kill to be in your shoes. Be thankful for what you have I personally know scores of women your age who would envy you solely because your son is alive. Be grateful, this is petty.

2/26/2014- “Don’t Think She’s Not”

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Wassup man?

Yo the girl I been dating got the game all kinds of fucked up. Even though we just been casually dating I found out she been hanging out with and hooking up with other guys. Three to be exact. I mean I talk to other girls, but should be hoeing herself out like that? She’s pissed with me now saying I have no right to be in her business.  I do if she’s talking to me right?

-Nelson

***Nelson, you’ve obviously aren’t a Kandi Buruss fan (go on YouTube and watch her music video for “Don’t Think I’m Not” or you’d know you’re out of line. You two are CASUALLY dating by your own admission, meaning neither of you owe the other anything. Just like you are talking to other girls in keeping options open, she deserves a right to do the same thing. I don’t believe in double standards when it comes to meeting women. Your ego has been bruised and you’re looking for away to make her feel bad for not making you her one and only from the jump. If you can’t hang with her decisions, it’s best you move on.  She’s not your girl. “Sometimes women play the field…”

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post. Be sure to pick a code name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

2/26/2014- “Charming The Kidz (Snap, Snap!)

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Hey Mikey,

Ok so I don’t really know how to feel about this. My boyfriend will flirt with gay guys to get something he wants. I mean whenever we have a gay waiter, cashier, trainer, or anything he does it and manages to get us something free or a huge discount! First, I thought it was funny but now after seeing these gay guys out and about and aggressively trying to get at him I want him to stop. He says it’s okay to do it because he isn’t giving them any indication that’s something what happened between them, but I don’t like to see people disappoint or her. Especially, when later on these guys find out I’m his girlfriend.  Some of them have cussed me out and one tried to fight me. How do I get him to knock this off. I can’t even go to Atlantic Station, Lenox Mall, or Piedmont Park without a ton of the kidz giving me nasty looks!

-Beyond Freakin’ Annoyed

***Beyond Freakin’ Annoyed, yes for the kidz lol! I didn’t  think people still used that terminology. Your story is unique to me, I’ve never heard of a straight guy openly flirting with gay guys to get what he wants. Nevertheless, it is not too farfetched. Lots of women do it all the time to straight men. However, I can see why this is making you uncomfortable. Actually, it shade have made you uncomfortable from the jump, but you were enjoying the perks of being his girlfriend. Using people, regardless of who they are is wrong. It sounds to me like karma is paying you a visit.  I suggest you tell your man how you feel. Really explain to him how he is hurting these guys and in proxy you since you can’t comfortably go to your hangout spots anymore. If he cuts it out–awesome; and if he doesn’t then you need to reevaluate your relationship and decide if you want to be with someone who is more concerned with free perks than the safety and well-being of his significant other. Good luck with the kidz!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post. Be sure to pick a code name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡