3/20/2015- “The Atlanta Question”

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Hey Mikey,

It’s time to get serious with someone AGAIN! I am super happy and super worried too, because I have really been wanting to ask the guy I’ve fallen for a really big question. Maybe I’m being insecure, but this is Atlanta that we live in and a girl’s gotta ask pertinent questions about her man, or future man’s background. I want to ask him has he ever been with another guy or if he’s bisexual or curious. It’s not because I get the gay vibe from him or anything, but I’ve had six boyfriends my entire life; and half of them have turned out to be gay, bisexual, or experimented with a guy. My ex before last is the gay one by the way…he left me for his teammate. I know when you talk to any man about his sexuality then you have to approach the questioning delicately, but I gotta get this out before we move forward. Am I wrong?

-No Man’s Fag Hag

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***No Man’s Fag Hag, you’re not alone in the boat of straight women unwittingly messing around with gay or bi-curious men. In fact, whether women care to realize it or not, statistically speaking, there’s a high chance they have had sex with a man who is attracted to or had some homosexual encounter with another man.However, this is not a solely Atlanta thing. There are millions of women worldwide who share your suspicions and experiences. No you’re not wrong to ask him. That’s a pertinent questions, someone’s sexuality is a small part of their identity, but it is still apart of them. If you are truly moving towards something great, you need complete transparency from your partner. Naturally, you will ask him this conversation alone, after a relaxing dinner, when he is comfortable and more open. Tell him how you feel and share the aforementioned experiences with your exes. Based on his reaction will say a lot. In 2015, a calm “no” should suffice and you two can move on. If he becomes irate and angry, or proves to be homophobic–red flag! Studies have shown that homophobic men themselves are more likely to be gay. So, say what you need to say and good luck!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

3/13/2015- “The Baymax Boo”

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Hey Mikey,

My daughter has always been an accepting person; and I love how she can see the inner beauty in everyone around her. However, her new boyfriend is beneath her in my opinion. Our family is big on health and fitness and the guy she is with now totally is not. He has her eating fried foods, missing our walks, and even took her to the county fair to watch him in a pie eating contest. He has to be close to 300 lbs. and it is not healthy. I keep trying to discuss his weight with her, but she claims to enjoy him as he is. I cannot imagine how she could be intimate with him. At dinner the other night I brought up the portioning of the food on his plate. There was easily enough food for three people there, and he took offense and rudely told me he will eat as much as he wants. My daughter just let him speak to me like that and chastened me via text about it later. How do I get her to see that he’s eating himself into a slow grave, and on the way she’ll be his miserable caretaker? Being Big Hero 6 may be tolerable while they’re young, but I mean c’mon…

-Anony-Mom

***Anony-Mom, the character you’re referencing is Baymax and he’s a superhero–Big Hero 6 is the team he’s on–just a little geek knowledge for you.  Seriously, all I hear is your complaints about your daughter’s boyfriend’s weight. If that is the biggest issue you have with him, and your daughter does not have any issues with him, then you’re completely out of line. If you’re daughter does not have a problem with his weight then neither should you. She is an adult, and like I try to tell people all the time you CANNOT parent your adult children. He is not forcing her to do anything she does not want to. Perhaps the bigger issue is you do not want the dynamics of your family life altered. It is time you move to the consulting position in her life. You have clearly offered your opinion on the situation and she has ignored it. Now it’s up to her to deal with any consequences, if any, of a relationship with him. I really want you to broaden your horizons and prioritize what is best for your daughter. Is he monogamous? Loyal? Loving? Thoughtful? Does he make her happy? C’mon mom. What he looks like is so trivial. Body shaming is truly awful…don’t be a perpetuate it…

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Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

3/5/2015- “Black Wonder Woman!”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m in Shitsville right now! I don’t feel like I should be, but I am. Here’s what’s going on. Well I was dating this girl two years ago and we did not work out. While we were dating she would always tell me about her friend who goes to school overseas and they seemed super close. Her friend has now moved to the states and man she is gorgeous! I mean so so gorgeous you would call her “Black Wonder Woman!”  I definitely have feelings for her, but I don’t think I’m on her radar. I asked my friend to be my wing woman and hook us up, but she flat out refused! She even says I’m an asshole for asking her to do that and has cut me out of her life. To make things worst her friend totally keeps her distance from me; and that ain’t cool. It was just a question. I can’t really figure out where I went wrong. We’ve been friends for so long now. Could she be jealous?

-Cool Casey

***You can’t be this insensitive or oblivious….or can you? Lord knows I’ve heard worst. Here it is good sir, you cannot ask a girl you use to date, no matter how long ago that was, to hook you up with one of her friend! That’s distasteful and egregious! There are billions of women on the planet that your friend is not so deeply connected to that you can hit on or hook up with. Her family and close friends are off limits. Honestly, her friend is cool. She is keeping her distance from you and practicing a rare, but honored thing called “LOYALTY!” You owe your friend an apology–that’s if you wish to salvage your friendship–and move on! “Black Wonder Woman” may not be for you, but “Black Supergirl might be…whoever she is…think with your bigger head before you act man, it’ll spare you and the women around you a lot of heartache.

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Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

2/24/2015- “The God-Sized Hole”

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Hey Mikey,

I was raised as a PK (Preacher’s Kid). Sunday through Friday it was church, church, and more church for me. When I went to college I slowed down a lot due to my evolving spiritual beliefs and the rigidness of The Church in general. Still I find myself missing that part of my life and have been meditating a lot. Something is missing in me and honestly I just don’t know what it is. What should I do? Is there something, or some action you advise me to do to stop this ache?

-PK Girl

***PK Girl, Church is usually the first thing most people let go of when they grow up and get out on their own. It’s almost like a grown up form of defiance. However, it does not have to be. There are millions of churches, and I am sure you can find one that fits your “evolving spiritual needs.” Still, it sounds like you are looking for more than a church home to quell the aches of the void within yourself. Trust me when I tell you that what you have is not some empty, bottomless void. It is instead a “God-sized hole,” and you’re trying to fill it with anything but God. Church may be the most common way people find their connection to God; but you should know the Church is within you, and God is everywhere! Reaffirm your bond with Him and all will fall into the place as it should be. Here’s the door sister, walk through it…

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Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

2/24/2015- “Tweet-able”

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Hey Mikey,

So I definitely know I made a mistake with my girlfriend’s friend. She posted a bikini pic online and I sort of commented “#Fuckable” on it! She immediately deleted the comment and DM’d me cusssing me out. I apologized to her and convinced her not to tell my girl–or so I thought. I got home and my lady was moving out. She said me tweeting her that is a form of cheating. I feel she is overreacting! Does that comment count as cheating? I mean the picture was retweet worthy and I kind of did, LOL!

-Captain Blue

***Captain Blue, your girlfriend is one of the smartest women on the planet! She knows when to get the hell on. What you’ve done isn’t cheating; but it is ignorant, inappropriate, reckless, insensitive, deplorable, heinous, immature, and oh yeah–PLAIN OUT STUPID! Did you really think the proverbial shit wouldn’t hit the fan when you hit on your girlfriend’s friend? “Women talk…women talk..;”  no one ever taught you this? If this situation were reversed we definitely would not be having this conversation. APOLOGIZE, APOLOGIZE, APOLOGIZE! For future reference, your girl’s friends aren’t tweet-able let alone “#Fuckable.” Sir, grow up!

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 Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

 

2/16/17- “Ms. Lyon’s Streets”

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Hey Mikey,

My Valentine’s day turned out to almost be deadly! I have been dating this guy for about 2 months, and I really like him, but I no longer feel it is safe for me to date him. Over the weekend he and I were about to head out for a night on the town and consummate our relationship for the first time when someone pulled up in a red Pinto and fired three shots into his car. Thankfully, neither of us were hurt. I have known for a while now that he is a drug dealer, but he is really sweet and he seems to be everything I want out of a guy. Times have been really hard for me recently and he’s helped me out a great deal financially. Plus, I’ve invested 2 months into this relationship I don’t want to feel like my time is wasted. I haven’t slept or eaten in 72 hours. How can I get over this fear?

-Lady Donna

***Lady Donna, what you are experiencing is called a healthy fear. You need to get away from him as soon as possible! Ultimately, no good comes from being a drug dealer’s girl. You are blessed to have walked away with your life. I’m not sure if you watch Empire, but Taraji’s character, Cookie Lyon, said it best; “These streets ain’t for everybody, that’s why they make sidewalks!” Clearly your experiencing some Post Traumatic stress Don’t trade your life for the empty security of drug money. No love is gained in the end!

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Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

2/7/2015- “Her Obliterated Heart”

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Hey Mikey,

So I think I’ve met the right woman for me, but I don’t know if she thinks I’m the right man for her. It’s not that she doesn’t like me or doesn’t find me attractive; she’s just apprehensive and still dealing with emotional baggage from previous relationships. From what I’ve gathered from her, her family, and her friends; all of her exes either cheated on her, cheated on her and beat her, beat her and stole from her, or cheated and stole from her. So I try to be patient and find myself constantly trying to prove I’m a good guy. She rarely allows me to do even the most chivalrous things like open the door, pay for our date, or pull her chair out for her. The other day when we were hanging with friends–sort of like a couples‘ game night–we had to do this trust fall exercise. It was like pulling teeth getting to her to even attempt it. Once she did, she cried and left. I felt bad for putting her in that position and now she wants to see me sparingly. She’s even saying maybe we should slow down because she is not ready for what I’m ready for. Where do I go from here? I’m lost at what my next plan of action should be. I’m going to win her heart!

-Mr. I’m In Love

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***Mr. I’m In Love, the heart is a fragile thing. If you break it too badly it might never recover. Obviously your lady is heartbroken, as a matter of fact she is dealing with an obliterated heart. I like to think of this as a state of crisis within a person when you’re so very broken and emotionally vulnerable. She is wise to pull back from you as another emotional blow at this time could push her towards a breakdown or worst! Just Google “Broken Heart Syndrome,” AKA stress cardiomyopathy! In turn, you should slow down too. If she’s the one, and it is meant to be, then it will work itself out. Your plans of action now should be inaction and reaction. Let her set the pace and tone of your relationship. Trust me when I tell you that traversing the shattered pieces of an obliterated heart is the most difficult task in the universe. Any man who takes on this task will have to be guided by patience, garbed with love, and entrusted by God. Good luck!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡