5/20/2015- “Too Hard To Be Light-Skinned”

wpid-wp-1432177916724.jpeg

Hey Mikey,

I’m not sure what the f***is going on lately, but the hate on light skinned dudes is real and HIGH! Just the other day this girl said she did not know how to take me because I “act too hard for a light skinned guy.” Like what the hell does that mean? Then just today a girl I really like said the only reason girls nowadays get with light skinned guys is to have pretty babies. Am I dating the wrong girls or is this the trend because everyone’s telling me they’re right. As a Black man I have enough to deal with without having to prove my blackness based on the tint of my skin. What should I do to deal with all this?

-Anti-Color Struck

e95ca1a450668c513942c51f1ec04214

***Anti-Color Struck, your situation is a sad and ignorant one. I want to say these are isolated incidents but lately I too have met a number of lighter skinned African-American men who tell me the stereotypes, prejudice and disdain they have faced just because they are not darker skinned. Do not let this get to you. Honestly, it is beyond you and as old as the slavery itself. History lesson: Lighter skinned slaves were the master’s children and lived and worked in the house and did not have to do the harder, menial tasks of darker skinned slaves so they seemed softer and less threatening. Translate that to present day and some people assume because you are light skinned you are weaker, not quite as Black, or do not know the meaning of a hard life.

Cut these girls off and toss their ignorance to the side. There is someone for everyone and they are only showing their insecurities. The measure of any man is how he governs himself, not the color or shade of his skin. They are stupid and color struck–not worth your time and thoughts. Yell out loud, “IDFWU!”

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

5/3/2015- “Ciara (@ciara) Betted Right!”

1430270138_russell-wilson-ciara-article

Hey Mikey,

So…my girl and I broke up six months ago. When I saw her out she acted all nice and sweet to me, but then I see her posting pictures with some dude on IG over the next three weeks. I guess dude has money because she been showing bags he bought her and she been flying to different places with him. He ain’t got me looks wise, but I don’t think his money is legit if you know what I mean. I don’t have any real proof just speculation. I mean who has all that cash at 22? Everyone says it is none of my business, but she and I were like best friends ’til she caught me talking to another girl. I’m really just trying to look out for her. Would I be wrong for doing a background check on the guy she is talking to now?

-Chino

267D427800000578-0-image-m-155_1425964813712

***Chino, speculation is just a sophisticated why of excusing your assumptions–something you have no right to do when it comes to your ex. She has moved on and so should you. Ghost following and tracking her via Instagram are not a good look! I can tell her kindness to you the last time you two crossed paths ignited hopes of reconciliation and now you want to sabotage her fledgling relationship now that she has found someone who’s financially a step up. Don’t be mad, don’t be sad, don’t do any background checks, don’t be resentful or bitter. Just MOVE ON This is what happens when you break up with someone…they find somebody new–and in the words of Ciara, “…somebody better than you…”

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

4/16/2014- “My Ex-Boyfriend’s Best Friend is My Next Boyfriend”

lovetriangle

Hey Mikey,

People, and maybe even you, are going to think I’m grimy; but the heart wants what it wants. I’ve been seeing my ex-boyfriend’s best friend for the last three months. Now he and I are ready to be official and go public with our relationship. I know coming out won’t be easy because he and my ex are very close–like brothers actually. Their families are even close too. In fact their mothers are best friends. I know this is going to cause a calamity, but I want to us to tell my ex first that we are together. My new boo and I are trying to decide how and when to tell him; and if one or both of us should tell him. I want to make this as painless as possible. Any advice or guidance?

-Absured & Unsure

hesdatingmyex

***Absured & Unsure, your pen name should “Trouble” in all caps! You’re right this is going to be a whole train of ugly, with a caboose of betrayal and heartache.This can potentially disrupt the harmony of multiple people and devastate friendships and relationships alike. I’m sure you have asked yourself repeatedly is it really worth it, but take the time to truly assess all the consequences at play. Honestly, there is no right way or time to tell him this type of news. You two need to  have he balls (figuratively and literally) to tell him TOGETHER since you want to be together! Don’t be surprised if karma becomes too real and you both end up with multiple people saying “I Don’t F*** With You!”

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

4/9/2015- “Gay Fat”

article-2143709-01A2DD28000004B0-637_468x353

Hey Mikey,

Dating life for me has been incredibly hard. Despite the fact that I’ve lost over fifty pounds I have yet to find a guy who wants to be with me. I was 280 lbs this times last year and now I’m 230–still no one will date me. I keep hearing that I am really cute or sexy, but I’m a little thicker than guys here in Atlanta like. According to my straight guy friends and my girls I am not big, but I know they don’t get it. I’m only normal size by straight people’s standards. A guy once rudely told me that if I have to look like the guys I want and that once I lose some more weight I won’t be single. I really like what I have accomplished with my help, but I feel pressured to lose more weight. I hate exercise with a passion and I’d only be doing it to date….What should I do?

-Walking Eyesore

2000px-Gay_flag_nice.svg

***Walking Eyesore, your name pains me. You’re nobody’s eyesore. They have the problem, not you. As someone who routinely suffers from #ThickBoyBlues, I understand exactly where you are coming from. People see your weight before they see you, rejecting you before they even give you a chance. You unfortunately, are what people call “Gay Fat; normal by straight standards and fat by gay ones. The gay world is a surprisingly shallow one , considering how much intolerance they have to deal with.  Many people would say men are visual creatures who “like what they like,” and unfortunately this is part of the problem. I say you should do only what makes YOU happy! People nowadays act like a banging body is a Black Card, not realizing in time it will fade. Happiness before vanity my friend!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

4/2/2014- “Eggplant Envy”

wpid-aubergine.jpg

Hey Mikey,

I’ve got an embarassing issue my man, but I gotta talk to someone about it. Pretty much my son is sixteen…and hung. Hung as in he’s well endowed. I learned that when my girlfriend accidentally walked in on him naked in his room. I constantly tell him to lock his door when he’s naked but he doesn’t listen. The other day I overheard my girlfriend and her best friend talking about his penis and comparing it to mine. According to her, I don’t measure up, but I have experience on my side. Then she told her friend she’s had dreams about his penis and starts laughing about it. I tried to brush it off like it wasn’t  anything, but last night it really hit me.

Continue reading

3/20/2015- “The Atlanta Question”

24177385

Hey Mikey,

It’s time to get serious with someone AGAIN! I am super happy and super worried too, because I have really been wanting to ask the guy I’ve fallen for a really big question. Maybe I’m being insecure, but this is Atlanta that we live in and a girl’s gotta ask pertinent questions about her man, or future man’s background. I want to ask him has he ever been with another guy or if he’s bisexual or curious. It’s not because I get the gay vibe from him or anything, but I’ve had six boyfriends my entire life; and half of them have turned out to be gay, bisexual, or experimented with a guy. My ex before last is the gay one by the way…he left me for his teammate. I know when you talk to any man about his sexuality then you have to approach the questioning delicately, but I gotta get this out before we move forward. Am I wrong?

-No Man’s Fag Hag

nagroup_boxer72_5

***No Man’s Fag Hag, you’re not alone in the boat of straight women unwittingly messing around with gay or bi-curious men. In fact, whether women care to realize it or not, statistically speaking, there’s a high chance they have had sex with a man who is attracted to or had some homosexual encounter with another man.However, this is not a solely Atlanta thing. There are millions of women worldwide who share your suspicions and experiences. No you’re not wrong to ask him. That’s a pertinent questions, someone’s sexuality is a small part of their identity, but it is still apart of them. If you are truly moving towards something great, you need complete transparency from your partner. Naturally, you will ask him this conversation alone, after a relaxing dinner, when he is comfortable and more open. Tell him how you feel and share the aforementioned experiences with your exes. Based on his reaction will say a lot. In 2015, a calm “no” should suffice and you two can move on. If he becomes irate and angry, or proves to be homophobic–red flag! Studies have shown that homophobic men themselves are more likely to be gay. So, say what you need to say and good luck!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

3/13/2015- “The Baymax Boo”

Baymax_Render

Hey Mikey,

My daughter has always been an accepting person; and I love how she can see the inner beauty in everyone around her. However, her new boyfriend is beneath her in my opinion. Our family is big on health and fitness and the guy she is with now totally is not. He has her eating fried foods, missing our walks, and even took her to the county fair to watch him in a pie eating contest. He has to be close to 300 lbs. and it is not healthy. I keep trying to discuss his weight with her, but she claims to enjoy him as he is. I cannot imagine how she could be intimate with him. At dinner the other night I brought up the portioning of the food on his plate. There was easily enough food for three people there, and he took offense and rudely told me he will eat as much as he wants. My daughter just let him speak to me like that and chastened me via text about it later. How do I get her to see that he’s eating himself into a slow grave, and on the way she’ll be his miserable caretaker? Being Big Hero 6 may be tolerable while they’re young, but I mean c’mon…

-Anony-Mom

***Anony-Mom, the character you’re referencing is Baymax and he’s a superhero–Big Hero 6 is the team he’s on–just a little geek knowledge for you.  Seriously, all I hear is your complaints about your daughter’s boyfriend’s weight. If that is the biggest issue you have with him, and your daughter does not have any issues with him, then you’re completely out of line. If you’re daughter does not have a problem with his weight then neither should you. She is an adult, and like I try to tell people all the time you CANNOT parent your adult children. He is not forcing her to do anything she does not want to. Perhaps the bigger issue is you do not want the dynamics of your family life altered. It is time you move to the consulting position in her life. You have clearly offered your opinion on the situation and she has ignored it. Now it’s up to her to deal with any consequences, if any, of a relationship with him. I really want you to broaden your horizons and prioritize what is best for your daughter. Is he monogamous? Loyal? Loving? Thoughtful? Does he make her happy? C’mon mom. What he looks like is so trivial. Body shaming is truly awful…don’t be a perpetuate it…

Baymax_Inflight_Render

Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡