10/11/14- “Betrayal of Divine Sisterhood”

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Hi ,

I am currently dating a married man. Let me give you the history. I have known him for 11 years, we were madly in love since the beginning of our friendship. Circumstances in my family meant that I had to leave the country. 2 years ago, I came back and he was married with a child. 

We got back in touch 6 months ago and both realised that we are still in love. We have been meeting up secretly, his wife is pregnant( pregnant before we started seeing each other again) we have both established we cannot keep away from each other. However, he has told me that he can’t leave his wife now because of the kids. I really don’t know what to do. Because we love each other. I know they only got married because of the first kid they had and that it is not love. She knows a friend of mine and basically told her that. 

I am not sure if I should carry on seeing him, or if I should just break it off. 

Thank you in advance 

Dee x 

***Dee x, you have already answered your own question. You know you should break this off. Believe me if he wanted to be with you he would be. Hid marital status  nor any number of children  would factor  into that. True love, no matter how devastating, would conquer all. Be aware that as a woman you are connected to every other human female on this planet in divine sisterhood. Sleeping with another woman’s husband is the ultimate betrayal of that connection. Forbidden love, betrayal, and stolen moments are fun and tantalizing until its your turn. Remember no matter how hard it is to believe; there are still plenty of fish in the sea. Prepare to swim longer and find a man of your own.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

10/2/2014- “The School of Carrie Bradshaw”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m in love, and I’m now in debt! My girlfriend for the past year has made me really happy, but she’s  also spending my money faster than I can make it. She stays at the mall! Saks, Michael Kors, Chanel, Dior, Cartier–you name it and she’s got to have it. I admit I have a healthy love of labels, but usually on a budget. I feel like this is my fault. I slick convinced her to quit her job and said I’d take care of her, but clearly at this pace I cannot. What should I do to get her to slow down? I don’t wanna come off as some scrub in front of my lady Mikey. Fix this!

-Account Zero

***Account Zero, fixing this issue is all on YOU! First off, you shouldn’t be taking on responsibilities you are not 100% sure you can afford. By making her quit her job, and offering to take care of her, you essentially agreed to be her sole provider. Therefore, she should be able to shop, wine, and  dine on your dime! Clearly, your girl is an avid student at “The School of Carrie Bradshaw,” meaning she likes her money where she can see it; hanging in her closet…” The solution to the issue is simple, she has to be put on a budget. Sit down with a financial planner–a professional one– not your boys or father; and see just how much money you can spare for her to actually splurge on. Do not allow her to go over this amount. It is as simple as that. Naturally, she will resist being put on a budget, especially after everything that has transpired. Still, money should not be a make or break issue for your relationship, but is a humongous reason many relationships meet their demise. In the future do not be so impetuous  with your decision making, especially when it involves a woman. My father always says a man needs three things that work: “A gun that works, a dog that works, and a woman that works…” Food for thought, huh? Remember  it is 2014 and a two income household is the norm.

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MIKEY, owner and sole operator of HeyMikeyATL.com

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

9/29/2015- “Betrayal By Association”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m a little pissed with a girl I know by association. My ex and I broke up six months ago. He’s verbally abusive and over aggressive and I have had enough! Besides that he did not seem to be the type that  would ever settle down. Recently, I found out he is now engaged to the girl I mentioned earlier that I know through my close friend. The girl and I were never friends but I still feel like all this is grimy, especially since she knows he’s  my ex. Our mutual friend is getting married this weekend, and I know I will have to see the two of them at the wedding. I don’t want to make a scene at my friend’s wedding, but I also don’t want to associate with them. What should I do if, or when, either of them speak to me?

-Girl from White Sands

***Girl from White Sands, your problem really should not be a problem at all. It is nonsense to be angry with a man you decided to end things with; especially when you claim that man verbally abused you. You’re feelings  are only brusied because he moved on– and quickly– to a girl you happen to know. Since you and his fiancée were never friends she does not owe you an explanation. Your friend’s  wedding is not the place to express your distaste with the situation. If either of them speak to you, be the bigger person and speak back. Be polite, the day is not about you; it is about your friend! Put your big girl panties on and act like a lady you want to be. Besides, she will soon find out exactly why you two didn’t work out. People don’t change overnight.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

9/13/14- “Because I Loved Myself More”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m lost right now. I’ve always put my husband’s career and needs before own. He’s a lawyer and at times I’ve functioned as his wife/personal assistant/secretary. Now, I’m ready to go back to school try and become a businesswoman in my own right. He’s completely against it saying I won’t be able to perform my “wifely duties.” I got accepted to Spelman and instead of being happy for me he filed for separation. I can’t understand why he doesn’t understand I am trying to better myself and in the long run it will be good for us and any children we have?

-Shaken

***Shaken, don’t find yourself “shook.” Wanting to better yourself is always admirable and noble. This is the only life you have, live it as best you can. If your husband does not understand that loving yourself more does not mean you love him any less; then he’s the one with the problem. Congratulations Spelman is a great school! Get that degree and become the woman you were always meant to be. Remember a woman is more than a wife or help mate. In fact she’s more than what any man would make her to be.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

9/2/2014- “The Raw Dog Rebel”

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Hey Mikey,

My current boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. I’m generally happy with him and I feel like I’m falling for him more and more everyday. So…my problem is in our sex life. He wants to start having raw sex and I definitely don’t. I’m negative and he is too but still I think it’s gross. He says if I love him and want to be a good partner I’ll at least try it, but I’m just not with it. Is there something I can do to get him to realize all that is rather dirty. I’ve seen videos and I’m not with the clean up. Tell me something good Mikey I’m counting on you!

-Gay Boy Issues

***Gay Boy Issues, this is rather intense!  I mistake, this is not something you can compromise on. Either you are going to do it, or not. I think you two should have a serious conversation and you should express your discomfort with the action. I would rather this not be a deal breaker in your relationship,  but the moment you start bringing ultimatums into the bedroom things are definitely going downhill. Never let anyone push you into doing something you are comfortable with.  Remember what one guy won’t do for you, another one will!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

8/21/2014- “The Universal Solution”

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Hey Mikey,

Currently I’m overwhelmed with two problems in my life. The first being my mother. She constantly asks me for money, promises to pay me back, then scolds me for being a disrespectful daughter when I have to ask for her to pay me back. To further complicate my life, my boyfriend and I are so on and off repeatedly, that I don’t really know where we stand anymore. He says he loves me and I do love him too but I don’t think I wanna try anymore. Every time he asks for another chance I just wind up taking him back. What should I do to move past all this? I don’t wanna alienate my mother or force my boyfriend out of my life.

-Feeling Powerless

***Feeling Powerless, you alone are the most powerful person in this situation.  You should exercise that aforementioned power with the simple use of the word, “No.” That’s right there’s no book or law or rule that says you have to give your mother money or keep taking your boyfriend back.  The Universal Solution to pain is on the edge of your tongue just waiting to be spoken and fix your issues! Remember our problems end and begin with us.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

8/8/2014- “Spiritually Self-Medicating”

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Hey Mikey,

My friend of twelve years has turned out to be a complete backstabber. I find out he has been sleeping with my girlfriend for the last three months.  I feel so stupid!  All the times I’ve left him home with her and let him stay over they been kicking it right under my nose.  I threw both of them out.  It’s easier to get her out my life but,  he and I are different.  He’s left like a thousand messages asking me to forgive him and for us to talk but I don’t know. … Mikey what should I do?  I’m sure you’ve dealt with betrayal of some sort before.

-Dead Inside

***Dead Inside,  allow me to resurrect the inner sanctums of your heart and soul.  You have been dealt a monumental blow that will take some time to heal from.  It’s time to offer yourself some healing in the form of forgiveness.  Forgive yourself and then the two of them.  Accept that you may have been the catalyst that brought them together, but their indiscretions are faults all their own. Now forgiveness does not mean you have to be around them,  or treat things the same. It instead allows you to spiritually self-medicate to heal and move on with your life.  You don’t wish them harm,  you don’t wish them well–you move on. 

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡