10/11/2014- “Her Baby & His Porn Star Dreams”

wpid-strong-black-mother-syndrome-250.jpg

Hello,

Mikey I need some advice and quick. I think my son is about to do something  that will ruin his life forever. Last year, he came out and told me he was bisexual and I accept him wholly. Since then, I have seen him date a number of men and women so I assumed his love life was as normal as it could be. Now here’s  where everything gets spooky for me. He’s been unemployed and out of school for six months now. I have no idea how he’s getting money. Whenever I, or another family member, asks him what he plans to do with his life he just tells us he has “trap boy dreams.” I assumed he was joking until his sister accidentally picked up his cell phone thinking it was hers, and found out he has been talking with some guy about possibly doing a sex video. Needless to say I am devastated. My daughter and I want to confront him about  it, but are not sure how to go about doing it. I dont mind having a gay son, but a porn star I just want have!

-Anonymous

***Anonymous, this is a lot to figure out –and honestly I have never had such an inquiry! First off, text conversations are open to interpretation. They lack the amenities of language; i.e. facial expressions, tone, innuendo, etc. To avoid the aforementioned misinterpretation, the path you must take is clear as day–use the straightforward approach. As a mother with an adult son, sit down and RESPECTFULLY  discuss the issue with him; and explain how you came across the information. Be prepared to accept whatever answer he gives you; and equally prepared to standby your decision of not supporting such work if he decides  to pursue  it. Remember there’s nothing wrong with disapproving, but keep your vocalizations to this conversation and move forward thereafter.  Being a strong mother is more than approving or disapproving of your child’s actions.   It means you have to be strong and wise enough to love them through any situation.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

10/11/14- “Betrayal of Divine Sisterhood”

wpid-sisterhood-women-of-soul-d-glenn-daniels.jpg

Hi ,

I am currently dating a married man. Let me give you the history. I have known him for 11 years, we were madly in love since the beginning of our friendship. Circumstances in my family meant that I had to leave the country. 2 years ago, I came back and he was married with a child. 

We got back in touch 6 months ago and both realised that we are still in love. We have been meeting up secretly, his wife is pregnant( pregnant before we started seeing each other again) we have both established we cannot keep away from each other. However, he has told me that he can’t leave his wife now because of the kids. I really don’t know what to do. Because we love each other. I know they only got married because of the first kid they had and that it is not love. She knows a friend of mine and basically told her that. 

I am not sure if I should carry on seeing him, or if I should just break it off. 

Thank you in advance 

Dee x 

***Dee x, you have already answered your own question. You know you should break this off. Believe me if he wanted to be with you he would be. Hid marital status  nor any number of children  would factor  into that. True love, no matter how devastating, would conquer all. Be aware that as a woman you are connected to every other human female on this planet in divine sisterhood. Sleeping with another woman’s husband is the ultimate betrayal of that connection. Forbidden love, betrayal, and stolen moments are fun and tantalizing until its your turn. Remember no matter how hard it is to believe; there are still plenty of fish in the sea. Prepare to swim longer and find a man of your own.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

10/2/2014- “The School of Carrie Bradshaw”

wpid-carrie_bradshaw-bio11001.jpg

Hey Mikey,

I’m in love, and I’m now in debt! My girlfriend for the past year has made me really happy, but she’s  also spending my money faster than I can make it. She stays at the mall! Saks, Michael Kors, Chanel, Dior, Cartier–you name it and she’s got to have it. I admit I have a healthy love of labels, but usually on a budget. I feel like this is my fault. I slick convinced her to quit her job and said I’d take care of her, but clearly at this pace I cannot. What should I do to get her to slow down? I don’t wanna come off as some scrub in front of my lady Mikey. Fix this!

-Account Zero

***Account Zero, fixing this issue is all on YOU! First off, you shouldn’t be taking on responsibilities you are not 100% sure you can afford. By making her quit her job, and offering to take care of her, you essentially agreed to be her sole provider. Therefore, she should be able to shop, wine, and  dine on your dime! Clearly, your girl is an avid student at “The School of Carrie Bradshaw,” meaning she likes her money where she can see it; hanging in her closet…” The solution to the issue is simple, she has to be put on a budget. Sit down with a financial planner–a professional one– not your boys or father; and see just how much money you can spare for her to actually splurge on. Do not allow her to go over this amount. It is as simple as that. Naturally, she will resist being put on a budget, especially after everything that has transpired. Still, money should not be a make or break issue for your relationship, but is a humongous reason many relationships meet their demise. In the future do not be so impetuous  with your decision making, especially when it involves a woman. My father always says a man needs three things that work: “A gun that works, a dog that works, and a woman that works…” Food for thought, huh? Remember  it is 2014 and a two income household is the norm.

image

MIKEY, owner and sole operator of HeyMikeyATL.com

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

9/30/2014- “The Size of His Hound Dog”

papillon-dog-picture

Hey Mikey,

I was listening to The Rickey Smiley Morning Show this morning and someone brought up a statement about pets that I found intriguing. Apparently women are suspicious of a guy who has a toy breed dog. When I say toy breed I mean miniatures like Shiatsus and Chihuahuas, the breeds you could definitely tote in a bag. I myself have a papillon.  I am just wondering if this is why I cannot get a date. I work out, i don’t cheat, I am told I am very handsome, and I work in IT, but whenever I invite a woman over she does not seem to “bite” the way I want her to. They will play with my dog and then make some excuse to call it a night. Maybe they think I am gay because I have a small dog, but I have had small dogs since I was an infant. In fact my mother was a breeder. How do I get around this dating barrier and get this women to be into me?

-Love My Papillon

***Love My Papillon, your devotion to your trinket puppy is sweet and admirable. No one has the right to judge your pet decisions. If a woman prioritizes the type of dog you have over whether you’re a great guy who is also monogamous, attractive, and employed then she has the problem–NOT you! Continue to date and be yourself. The right woman is out there. Trust me; she will love you dog and all, without you ever having to justify your love for your precious pooch.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

9/29/2015- “Betrayal By Association”

wpid-unnamed.jpg

Hey Mikey,

I’m a little pissed with a girl I know by association. My ex and I broke up six months ago. He’s verbally abusive and over aggressive and I have had enough! Besides that he did not seem to be the type that  would ever settle down. Recently, I found out he is now engaged to the girl I mentioned earlier that I know through my close friend. The girl and I were never friends but I still feel like all this is grimy, especially since she knows he’s  my ex. Our mutual friend is getting married this weekend, and I know I will have to see the two of them at the wedding. I don’t want to make a scene at my friend’s wedding, but I also don’t want to associate with them. What should I do if, or when, either of them speak to me?

-Girl from White Sands

***Girl from White Sands, your problem really should not be a problem at all. It is nonsense to be angry with a man you decided to end things with; especially when you claim that man verbally abused you. You’re feelings  are only brusied because he moved on– and quickly– to a girl you happen to know. Since you and his fiancée were never friends she does not owe you an explanation. Your friend’s  wedding is not the place to express your distaste with the situation. If either of them speak to you, be the bigger person and speak back. Be polite, the day is not about you; it is about your friend! Put your big girl panties on and act like a lady you want to be. Besides, she will soon find out exactly why you two didn’t work out. People don’t change overnight.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

9/13/14- “Because I Loved Myself More”

image

Hey Mikey,

I’m lost right now. I’ve always put my husband’s career and needs before own. He’s a lawyer and at times I’ve functioned as his wife/personal assistant/secretary. Now, I’m ready to go back to school try and become a businesswoman in my own right. He’s completely against it saying I won’t be able to perform my “wifely duties.” I got accepted to Spelman and instead of being happy for me he filed for separation. I can’t understand why he doesn’t understand I am trying to better myself and in the long run it will be good for us and any children we have?

-Shaken

***Shaken, don’t find yourself “shook.” Wanting to better yourself is always admirable and noble. This is the only life you have, live it as best you can. If your husband does not understand that loving yourself more does not mean you love him any less; then he’s the one with the problem. Congratulations Spelman is a great school! Get that degree and become the woman you were always meant to be. Remember a woman is more than a wife or help mate. In fact she’s more than what any man would make her to be.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

9/9/2014- “Before You Walk Out Of My Life”

image

Hey Mikey,

I really like your site. Lots of categories and stuff. My husband in particular likes your “Hot Tips for The Handsome Man” column. He gets manicures and pedicures with me now. Well my marriage is great but my friendship with my friend, “Elaine,” is really strained. We’ve been girls for about five years now and she was even in my wedding.  We recently had a big fallout over this slime of a guy she’s been dating. He makes Nikko from “Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta” look like a saint! To make a long story short,  she has not spoken to me since and now she’s accepted a job offer overseas and will be leaving in a few days. She had a going away party and did not invite me. Should I leave things alone or try to get some reconciliation and closure before she heads off?

-A Hurting Friend

***A Hurting Friend, I am sorry you and your friend are going through this. I see so many women lose great friendships over men.  It’s all so disappointing. Nevertheless, I advise you to reach out and wish her well. You can even tell her you have no hard feelings about the situation.  Anything she decides to do, or not do, after that is solely up to her.  Lose no sleep,  shed no tears! Life moves on and apparently so is your friend.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡