6/27/2015- “Gay, Black, & PROUDLY Bittersweet”

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Hey Mikey,

Yesterday was a really momentous event for people like me, but it was also a sad day for people like me as well. I am African-American and gay, and yesterday I attended the funeral for the Charleston 9 and was deeply saddened and fearful about what it means to be Black in America nowadays. It seems like every time I turn on the TV there’s a new hate crime or brutality against us. Like so may others I have peacefully protested and pushed the moniker “#BlackLivesMatter,” but I just don’t feel like anyone is really standing with us. I am happy that the Supreme Court has now made it legal to marry the man I love, but where are they with the other issues I face as a Black man?

When I try to discuss these issues with my White gay friends, they don’t seem to get it. They don’t even think the Klan and other groups like them are even terrorists. They look at them as just hate groups. They feel badly about what’s happening to Black people, but I don’t see the protesting and rallying or justice the wat they did with their rainbow flags yesterday; the way I have stood by them in the past. I guess I’m actually asking you how do I rectify the inner turmoil I’m feeling at this moment?

-Doubly Conscious

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***Doubly Conscious, you would do better to upgrade your consciousness to a triple level–a racial, national, and sexual one. Although these categories should not matter, they do, and they play a huge part in how society views us and how we view ourselves. Accepting multiple levels of consciousness is something people of color have had to grapple with for hundreds of years. The answer is to accept that although you wish for all of these aspects of your life to be equal; they are not! You must learn to prioritize which form of consciousness is appropriate for the situation at hand. Do not feel guilty about celebrating yesterday’s ruling, but at the same time acknowledge and reflect on the lives that have been lost in Charleston. I too dream of a better world where one consciousness–a human one–is the sole category we all belong to. Until then fight on! Whether you’re Black, American, or gay there are still social injustices to fight. We need people like you to reach more people. 

6/20/2015- “All’s Fair In Love, War, & Business!”

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Hey Mikey,

I am going through a grueling divorce right now. My soon to be ex-husband and I have started a chain of clothing stores in the Northeast that has really taken off and is currently worth millions. It seems money has gone to his head in recent years and he has become neglectful of me.Maybe it is because he came from nothing and is nothing! I am tired of his disrespect as well, but I am not tired enough to relinquish all my rights to the company. He wants to buy me out, but I will not have it. It was my money that fueled it even though he grew it into what it is. It seems like he is unstoppable in his pursuits to get me out of the picture, and I refuse to be moved. My friend said you gave her some good advice about her marriage. Care to help?

-Over His BS

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***Over His BS, I am sorry to hear about your divorce, but these things do happen. In this scenario you should play it smart. From your own admission he is unstoppable, and you are immovable. What happens when the Immovable Object meets the Unstoppable Force? They Surrender! Meaning both of you have to reach a compromise, not obliterate the other. Neither of you will win that way and your hard work will be in the sewers of New York City.

Treat the business like a baby, something you both created and are connected to for the rest of your lives. From what I have read about your company, I would say you should remain on the board and attain grade A, controlling shares in the company. As far as the daily operations of the business you should leave that to him and limit yourself to the most critical aspects of your empire. Also, take some of that money and invest it elsewhere. There are a ton of entrepreneurs/inventors who just need a good investor to make some mega bucks. Just do your research! Good luck!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

6/17/2015- “Fitness For Affection”

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Hey Mikey,

I am a personal trainer and lately I have been training a guy who seems pretty cool, but he is unlucky in love. He is almost thirty and not in bad shape, but he can definitely make some improvements. I’m all about health and fitness for a better life, but he says he is only working out so he can meet someone and date. I am trying to get him to understand that he has to work out for himself or else the process won’t work.He sees being in a relationship because he has a better body as a surefire way to happiness. How can I make him see and feel differently. Relationships aren’t everything!

-Muscle Man

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***Muscle Man, how he thinks and what he feels is really his business. As his trainer your job is to assist him in getting the results he wants. His reasons for getting in shape are irrelevant! Honestly, if that is what motivates him to do what he needs to do then so be it. Besides, as a trainer you may have your pick of the litter when it comes to dating. For someone on the opposite end that may be the one thing they want. So help him out! I’m sure under your tutelage his before and after pictures will be amazing!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

6/11/2015- “Confessions of a Church Queen”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m a little confused. Someone I really love is doing something I believe is morally wrong. I grew up in church and met my first boyfriend there. He was training to be a deacon and even going to ministerial school. We were together for years and then one day he abruptly broke up with me. He claimed it had nothing to do with me, but I just had to snoop…Well I found out he was messing around with a guy (he left his phone in my car, unlocked) and I don’t agree with homosexuality.I say to each his own, but if I can save someone I care about then I feel like I should definitely try. And I did. I told some of the elders in my church anonymously, hoping they could dissuade him from this lifestyle.

My plan seems to have hurt him more than it helped him. He left the church and school and is now estranged from his family. He and I have become really close, however, and I feel guiltier by the day. He wishes he knew who outed him and it is taking everything in me not to tell him. Do you think I should? I’m not lying to him by not telling him, but I still feel like I am. Save me Mikey!

-His Girl

***His Girl, whoa and whoa! “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions…” As a churchgoing woman I am sure you know this saying. My dear, you have unwittingly ruined a man’s life and not because you were trying to save him! You just could not accept that he was letting you go and you needed to know why. The answer was simple. You did not have what he wanted/needed. This is something you should have “Let go and let God!” By the way, YOU ARE LYING–it is called a lie of omission! By not telling him what you have done, you are basing your new found friendship off of a lie. You meant him no good and no good came of your selfish plan. Tell him, but have your big girl panties on when you do, you’re going to need them to catch all the shit he is going to give you for what you have done to him. Sorry doll, he is just not that into you and you need to be okay with that. 

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

6/6/2015- “BLU= Boys Like U”

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Hey Mikey,

I feel like my heart is wrenching. I met this guy, we instantly hit it off, started talking and hanging everyday, and I’ve even helped him find a job. When I told him how I felt he told me I’m a handsome guy, but that he was not looking for a boyfriend. Two months later…he has a boyfriend…They even sorta lookalike. Both have great bodies and everything. We are still close, but I’m in pain whenever he’s around and brings him up, when I see them on social media posting, and especially when he asks me for relationship advice. I have voiced hurt to him, and he says that I’m his best friend and really needs my support. I don’t know, every time i look at him I see the guys of my dreams, his boyfriend kinda is too. How do I say to him boys like you remind me that I’m lonely.

-Foolishly Hoped

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5/29/2015- “Tinder Terror”

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Hey Mikey,

Last year I got on Tinder and met a guy named “Larry” and now I completely regret it! He seemed so cool and sweet online then when we met he tried to force himself on me. Yes! Like trying make me kiss him and wrestling me down to the floor. He even slapped me! I was too embarrassed to call the police and I did not want people finding out I am bisexual. Now suddenly I see him all the time at grocery stores, malls, restaurants, and even at bars. He always tries to whisper something to me or get loud with me. I’m not sure what to do, especially since I just found he has applied at my part time job. I need options that won’t out me. Please help!

-The Worried One

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***The Worried One, you should be worried! This sounds more like stalking than a series of coincidences. Whoever this guy is just won’t take no for an answer. I advise you to wisely say “yes.” Say yes to restraining orders, police reports, and good ol’ fashion tasers and pepper spray. Value your safety and peace of mind more than the repercussions of coming out. Not taking this seriously could have you more than worried–you could be DEAD!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

5/27/2015- “Northern Trees Bear Strange Fruit”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m having a serious issue with my son. He got suspended from school for calling one of his classmates a monkey and then writing on his locker that “Hang all monkeys!” I am mortified by what he has been doing and I’m definitely grounding him for it. His dad wants to get him some counseling, but I feel like this is just an isolated incident. Beyond that, we have Black neighbors, friends, coworkers, and even in-laws (My sister’s fiance is biracial). We live in Connecticut and don’t really live in a traditionally racially charged area of the country. What he needs is a good grounding and something to occupy his time in my opinion. What do you think?

-Hammerhead Mom

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***Hammerhead Mom, please allow me to school you. All areas of the country are racially charged! From New York to Florida to Missouri and all the way out to Cali. Historically, acts of racial violence against African-Americans has occurred nationwide, with some men and women of color being lynched in Northern states. So you see “Northern trees bear strange fruit too!” Just because you have Black cohorts and a black relative does not make you immune to racism, nor will it prevent your son from becoming a racist. Might I suggest some diversity training coupled with the therapy his father is recommending? As his mother you have the responsibility to mold him into a good and productive member of society. Being a racist is neither! Don’t take this lightly honey, because calling a Black kid a monkey and suggesting he should be hanging just ain’t a laughing matter!

About “Strange Fruit:”
Strange Fruit is a 1930s anti-lynching poem written by Meeropol, put to music and made famous by Billie Holiday. Provides possible basis for the name of hip hop group “Strange fruit project.
“Southern trees bear a “strange fruit”
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root,
Black body swinging in the Southern breeze,
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees.”
☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡