7/29/2015- “Love Me Like You Do”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m caught in a serious dilemma. I recently reunited with my college sweetheart. As a matter of fact, the day we reunited we made love in the backseat of her SUV. It was like old times. She told me after the fact she is in an open marriage. She has her flings and her husband has his. She wants to leave him, but says he makes too much money and she is not willing to downgrade her lifestyle. We have been at this for a year now and honestly I’m tired of being the side dude, even if it is no secret. I want her to be my wife, she is the one. I think I am ready to give her an ultimatum. What do you think she will say? I really just want her to keep loving me the way she does…

-Problematic

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***Problematic, giving her an ultimatum is not necessary. She has already told you where you two stand. Her marriage may be at the bottom, you come in at number two, but the love of her life is the money fueling her lifestyle. Unless you can match that dollar for dollar you are so out of luck! It is time to face the music, cry yourself a river, and give it one last goodbye because she is not the one. If she was she would not be someone else’s wife. Yes wife! Not side chick, girlfriend, or jump off! Her label comes with some serious legal perks and spiritual responsibilities. Swerve back into your lane! If you cannot or will not maintain it then it is time you get off the road! Save that proposal and bent knee for a SINGLE woman who really will be worth it.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

Taboo to Do: Sex on the First Date?

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When it comes to relationships, there are many things one may deem taboo to do – like asking a guy out on a date, letting the lady foot the bill and one of the oldest in the book; having sex on the first date. But it is now 2015 and I hereby deem all of these things outdated and unrealistic. For instance, there’s this really cute guy you’re crushing on and he flirts with you too. Instead of you asking him out, you wait on him to do it and that day never comes. Why are you waiting on him to make the next move? The same thing with falling into bed with someone.

My personal opinion is this – I believe that after twenty minutes of meeting someone you know whether or not you like them and if you want to have sex with them. You know whether you want to continue on a conversation with them or if you’d like them better with their mouth closed and clothes off. Today I’ve compiled a list of why I think it is perfectly fine to “smash” on the first date.

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7/18/2015- “Good Company”

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Hey Mikey,

My baby is due next week and I’m really scared. Oddly enough, it’s not because any of the pain it will cause. It is because my family has a history of not getting along with their oldest children. My mother and I can’t stand each other, she couldn’t stand her mother, my grandmother hated my great-grandfather, and he despised my great-great grandfather. That is five generations of family drama and I don’t want to do anything to make my baby boy and I the sixth one. The biggest fallout between my mother and I came when she would never believe me or take my side in any situation. I already love my baby and I want him to love me. I’m just wondering how do I keep a good relationship with him throughout his life?

-Something’s Gotta Change

***Something’s Gotta Change, you are absolutely right! It sounds like your family is dealing with a generational curse. Five generations is roughly a century and that is far too long for any type of family drama and discord. I am sure, over the years, you have heard the stories as to why your various ascendants have been at war with one another. Take those to heart to learn how to prevent them and not perpetuate them. If your child has all of your strengths, and none of your weaknesses then you will have done a great job raising your son. Trust me, there’s no manual for parenting and “The Lipschitz” is just a Rugrats character. You two will always be good company with another–claim it and believe it!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

Hey Mikey- “Mauerbauertraurigkeit”

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Hey Mikey,

My friend is really giving me the blues. I am not sure why he constantly acts like this but it is getting on my last damn nerves. He is always pushing me away, we have been friends for years and now he is sending me a damn “Dear John” letter talking about we cannot be friends because friendships make him uncomfortable. I keep trying to be there for him, but I just don’t know what the hell I can do to help him. Do you think he is bipolar?

-Currently Clueless

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***Currently Clueless, it sounds like your friend is feeling the following “obscure sorrow:”

Mauerbauertraurigkeit

n. the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like—as if all your social taste buds suddenly went numb, leaving you unable to distinguish cheap politeness from the taste of genuine affection, unable to recognize its rich and ambiguous flavors, its long and delicate maturation, or the simple fact that each tasting is double-blind.

Sad, right? What is even sadder is when we do not know how to let go. When someone is blatantly trying to push you out of their lives do not make it so hard for them. Press the fast forward button on your feet and run on. This is something they will have to work out on there on. As hard as it is to do that you have to. Misery loves company, and that emotion is not only contagious–it’s crippling.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

7/3/2015- “Go To The Ball Cinderella!”

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Hey Mikey!

Help, help, and help! I am really confused about what to do for tomorrow for The All-Stars Social. I have my gown, I’m getting my hair and makeup done professionally, and my father is even getting me a carriage and horse to ride to the Social in. There is one problem–no date. I could not find one single boy to escort me to tomorrow night! The ones I like are taking other girls, or gay, I suspect. When I asked two guys out they told me I wasn’t their type. One even called me plain…At this point a relative would be nice, but both of my parents are only children so I have no cousins. I do not want to disappoint my parents and not go. My father’s a judge so we’re pretty prominent in the community, but it just doesn’t look right for any woman to go “stag” to an event. I need some of your magical wisdom, and quickly!

-Anonymous

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7/2/2015- “Confidence Meter–TURN IT UP!”

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Hey Mikey,

I really love your advice column and I figure you can help me out with something. I’ve started to date this guy in the last week. He is very intelligent, kind, has great communication, but he lacks confidence. A few years back he was obese and his dating life was virtually nonexistent. Even though he has lost weight and looks great can’t see it, and wants to lose more weight. I tried to get him to have a meal with me later in the evening and he declined because he says it wouldn’t help his wait loss–he also would barely drink with me. I’m not the most fit guy myself, but I like to have fun and be able to say what I want to say without having to worry about hurting someone’s feelings. His low confidence worries me. I’m considering no longer dating him and advising him to work on himself. Should I?

-Actively Searching for BAE

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6/27/2015- “Gay, Black, & PROUDLY Bittersweet”

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Hey Mikey,

Yesterday was a really momentous event for people like me, but it was also a sad day for people like me as well. I am African-American and gay, and yesterday I attended the funeral for the Charleston 9 and was deeply saddened and fearful about what it means to be Black in America nowadays. It seems like every time I turn on the TV there’s a new hate crime or brutality against us. Like so may others I have peacefully protested and pushed the moniker “#BlackLivesMatter,” but I just don’t feel like anyone is really standing with us. I am happy that the Supreme Court has now made it legal to marry the man I love, but where are they with the other issues I face as a Black man?

When I try to discuss these issues with my White gay friends, they don’t seem to get it. They don’t even think the Klan and other groups like them are even terrorists. They look at them as just hate groups. They feel badly about what’s happening to Black people, but I don’t see the protesting and rallying or justice the wat they did with their rainbow flags yesterday; the way I have stood by them in the past. I guess I’m actually asking you how do I rectify the inner turmoil I’m feeling at this moment?

-Doubly Conscious

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***Doubly Conscious, you would do better to upgrade your consciousness to a triple level–a racial, national, and sexual one. Although these categories should not matter, they do, and they play a huge part in how society views us and how we view ourselves. Accepting multiple levels of consciousness is something people of color have had to grapple with for hundreds of years. The answer is to accept that although you wish for all of these aspects of your life to be equal; they are not! You must learn to prioritize which form of consciousness is appropriate for the situation at hand. Do not feel guilty about celebrating yesterday’s ruling, but at the same time acknowledge and reflect on the lives that have been lost in Charleston. I too dream of a better world where one consciousness–a human one–is the sole category we all belong to. Until then fight on! Whether you’re Black, American, or gay there are still social injustices to fight. We need people like you to reach more people.