7/3/2015- “Go To The Ball Cinderella!”

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Hey Mikey!

Help, help, and help! I am really confused about what to do for tomorrow for The All-Stars Social. I have my gown, I’m getting my hair and makeup done professionally, and my father is even getting me a carriage and horse to ride to the Social in. There is one problem–no date. I could not find one single boy to escort me to tomorrow night! The ones I like are taking other girls, or gay, I suspect. When I asked two guys out they told me I wasn’t their type. One even called me plain…At this point a relative would be nice, but both of my parents are only children so I have no cousins. I do not want to disappoint my parents and not go. My father’s a judge so we’re pretty prominent in the community, but it just doesn’t look right for any woman to go “stag” to an event. I need some of your magical wisdom, and quickly!

-Anonymous

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7/2/2015- “Confidence Meter–TURN IT UP!”

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confidence level conceptual meter

Hey Mikey,

I really love your advice column and I figure you can help me out with something. I’ve started to date this guy in the last week. He is very intelligent, kind, has great communication, but he lacks confidence. A few years back he was obese and his dating life was virtually nonexistent. Even though he has lost weight and looks great can’t see it, and wants to lose more weight. I tried to get him to have a meal with me later in the evening and he declined because he says it wouldn’t help his wait loss–he also would barely drink with me. I’m not the most fit guy myself, but I like to have fun and be able to say what I want to say without having to worry about hurting someone’s feelings. His low confidence worries me. I’m considering no longer dating him and advising him to work on himself. Should I?

-Actively Searching for BAE

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What About Your Friends? – 5 Toxic Friends To Spot & LET GO!

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TLC couldn’t have asked a better question on their debut album. “What about your friends – will they stand their ground? Will they let you down again? What about your friends – are they gonna be low down? Will they ever be around or will they turn their backs on you?”  As you get older you will see your “Day 1″ friends get more and more distant and you’ll wonder why. You’ll notice he or she always has something negative to say about one of your other friends, about something you consider to be an achievement or she or he may just be running off 100% haterade. And the saddest part about your friend’s “new behavior” is its really not new at all. It’s just that you’ve been so accepting of it up until now and the reason why you’re getting fed up is because you’re older now, you’ve taken the rose colored glasses off and now you can truly see them for the negative person they’ve always been.

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6/27/2015- “Gay, Black, & PROUDLY Bittersweet”

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Hey Mikey,

Yesterday was a really momentous event for people like me, but it was also a sad day for people like me as well. I am African-American and gay, and yesterday I attended the funeral for the Charleston 9 and was deeply saddened and fearful about what it means to be Black in America nowadays. It seems like every time I turn on the TV there’s a new hate crime or brutality against us. Like so may others I have peacefully protested and pushed the moniker “#BlackLivesMatter,” but I just don’t feel like anyone is really standing with us. I am happy that the Supreme Court has now made it legal to marry the man I love, but where are they with the other issues I face as a Black man?

When I try to discuss these issues with my White gay friends, they don’t seem to get it. They don’t even think the Klan and other groups like them are even terrorists. They look at them as just hate groups. They feel badly about what’s happening to Black people, but I don’t see the protesting and rallying or justice the wat they did with their rainbow flags yesterday; the way I have stood by them in the past. I guess I’m actually asking you how do I rectify the inner turmoil I’m feeling at this moment?

-Doubly Conscious

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***Doubly Conscious, you would do better to upgrade your consciousness to a triple level–a racial, national, and sexual one. Although these categories should not matter, they do, and they play a huge part in how society views us and how we view ourselves. Accepting multiple levels of consciousness is something people of color have had to grapple with for hundreds of years. The answer is to accept that although you wish for all of these aspects of your life to be equal; they are not! You must learn to prioritize which form of consciousness is appropriate for the situation at hand. Do not feel guilty about celebrating yesterday’s ruling, but at the same time acknowledge and reflect on the lives that have been lost in Charleston. I too dream of a better world where one consciousness–a human one–is the sole category we all belong to. Until then fight on! Whether you’re Black, American, or gay there are still social injustices to fight. We need people like you to reach more people. 

6/20/2015- “All’s Fair In Love, War, & Business!”

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Hey Mikey,

I am going through a grueling divorce right now. My soon to be ex-husband and I have started a chain of clothing stores in the Northeast that has really taken off and is currently worth millions. It seems money has gone to his head in recent years and he has become neglectful of me.Maybe it is because he came from nothing and is nothing! I am tired of his disrespect as well, but I am not tired enough to relinquish all my rights to the company. He wants to buy me out, but I will not have it. It was my money that fueled it even though he grew it into what it is. It seems like he is unstoppable in his pursuits to get me out of the picture, and I refuse to be moved. My friend said you gave her some good advice about her marriage. Care to help?

-Over His BS

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***Over His BS, I am sorry to hear about your divorce, but these things do happen. In this scenario you should play it smart. From your own admission he is unstoppable, and you are immovable. What happens when the Immovable Object meets the Unstoppable Force? They Surrender! Meaning both of you have to reach a compromise, not obliterate the other. Neither of you will win that way and your hard work will be in the sewers of New York City.

Treat the business like a baby, something you both created and are connected to for the rest of your lives. From what I have read about your company, I would say you should remain on the board and attain grade A, controlling shares in the company. As far as the daily operations of the business you should leave that to him and limit yourself to the most critical aspects of your empire. Also, take some of that money and invest it elsewhere. There are a ton of entrepreneurs/inventors who just need a good investor to make some mega bucks. Just do your research! Good luck!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

6/17/2015- “Fitness For Affection”

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Hey Mikey,

I am a personal trainer and lately I have been training a guy who seems pretty cool, but he is unlucky in love. He is almost thirty and not in bad shape, but he can definitely make some improvements. I’m all about health and fitness for a better life, but he says he is only working out so he can meet someone and date. I am trying to get him to understand that he has to work out for himself or else the process won’t work.He sees being in a relationship because he has a better body as a surefire way to happiness. How can I make him see and feel differently. Relationships aren’t everything!

-Muscle Man

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***Muscle Man, how he thinks and what he feels is really his business. As his trainer your job is to assist him in getting the results he wants. His reasons for getting in shape are irrelevant! Honestly, if that is what motivates him to do what he needs to do then so be it. Besides, as a trainer you may have your pick of the litter when it comes to dating. For someone on the opposite end that may be the one thing they want. So help him out! I’m sure under your tutelage his before and after pictures will be amazing!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

GRIEF…Five Ways to Deal…

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You cannot answer the meaning of life, without first trying to explain the existence of death. Indeed these two awesome forces, though opposite, seem juxtaposed in some cosmic love/hate, good/evil, yin/yang sort of dance. Thus, the true of acceptance of things is to realize that one inevitably leads to other. Nothing can live on forever, and new life can flourish from that which has perished. This is the view I had to take when I lost my best friend of seven years, Zachary Lloyd Heath, Jr., in 2013. It has taken two years for me to accept that he is gone, and even now there are times when I find myself questioning the grand scheme of things. Below are five sure fire actions to help you deal with your own grief.

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