12/8/2014- “Bye Felipe”

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Hey Mikey,

This on again and off again status relationship between me and my boyfriend, Frank, is really pissing me off! For the last two months he has broken up and gotten back together with me at least every other week. He has broken up with me for picking him up five minutes late, baking chicken instead of frying it, and once for not having an ugly sweater for some “Ugly Christmas Sweater” themed party. I CAN’T! I feel like I have to be doing something for him to nitpick every single thing I do. Help me out here Mikey. Am I the crazy one or is he?

-Desperately Disheveled

***Desperately Disheveled YOU ARE BOTH CRAZY! Obviously you never heard Taylor Swift when she sang, “…we are never ever, EVER getting back together!” Either he is very petty or very controlling, neither are a good look. This needs to be done once and for all. Have a candid conversation and tell him you are going to be together and committed or you will not be anything. No sane woman will be with a man who checks her about not having an ugly sweater for some equally ugly party! Girl, it is hard to be a healthy individual when you are surrounded by bullshit. Move on! There are plenty of men with better fashion sense, cooler parties to attend, and won’t give you the drama Frank, I mean “Felipe” is causing. So “Bye Felipe!”

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☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

12/4/2014- “Foul on the Foreplay!”

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Hey Mikey!

My new boyfriend and I are ready to begin having sex. We have not gone all the way yet, but I definitely want to. The other night we at least got to third base–but that’s also when I realized he might not know how to get me to homerun and out of the ball park. Simply put his tongue skills are lacking. When I told him about it, he says it’s because he does not like doing that, but he expects me to go down on him. Are you catching my issue? I am really big on foreplay. How do I get him on my team? Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship but it is an important part of a relationship. I would love your input.

-So Worth It

***So Worth It, I feel your dilemma and reciprocation is a must! I think you should emphasize just how important foreplay is to you. Let him know that just as much as he wants you to get him off; you in turn need him to get you on. Sex, my dear, like anything can become better with a few directions as well. Just point him the right direction. I know from experiece, a little direction makes a world of difference ;-). By the way I love the sports references!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

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11/24/2014- “Don’t Be An ‘Askhole!'”

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Hey Mikey,

My friend is not talking to me right now. Apparently, because I don’t follow her advice, she feels I’m a lost cause. I don’t have the best luck with guys (everybody says I attract bad guys), so I admit to making her into my confidante. Still, I don’t always tell her about them for her to advise me. Sometimes I just want to tell her what is going on with me without judgement. Her recent break from my life means she has been judging me all along. I miss her though. Any advice Mikey?

-Angel Baby 5

***Angel Baby 5, honestly I’m hesitant to offer you any advice. There’s no guarantee you will follow it.  You are what we call an “Askhole!”An Askhole is a person who constantly acts for advice and then does the exact opposite every time. You need to stop! Your friend is not judging you, she is simply fed up with you dumping your issues on her. As a friend she is trying to help you find a solution to your man problems so both of you can have piece of mind. You need to apologize wholeheartedly and change your interaction with her. No more dumping your relationship drama on her and get some real help. Remember you attract what you put out; work on yourself and a good man will come along at the right time.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

 

11/15/2014- “Noni’s Blues”

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Hey Mikey,

You’ll be happy to know I went and saw “Beyond The Lights!” It was as awesome as you said it would be. I related to Noni a lot…currently my family is trying to push me into a business career to help them run their businesses. I want to act but i know they won’t support me. They don’t know it but the pressure they’ve put on me has made me depressed, stressed, and at times I have contemplated just giving in. What should I do? I don’t want to disappoint them, but I also don’t want to live a life I won’t be happy with?

-Gasping

***Gasping, you are not a chicken in a crock pot, therefore your family should not be applying any pressure on you! You only get one life to live and it has to be on your own terms. As difficult as it may be, you must stand your ground and pursue your dream wholeheartedly. Just remember nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Your family will either learn to support you, or learn to get out of your way. The life of an actress may not be what they wished for you, but it is the life you will have, and you must live it bravely!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

11/4/2014- “Ninjas Ain’t Loyal Either”

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Hey Mikey,

My ex-best friend swears by your column so I decided to give you a try. The reason he’s my ex-best friend is because I just found out he’s been smashing the girl I’ve been seeing behind my back for the last four months. Mind you she and I have been dating for five of those months, AND they met through me. She and I don’t really have any labels attached to our set up; so I feel like I can’t really be mad at her. Needless to say, when it comes to my homeboy I’m furious beyond words. He and I were like brothers. My other boys told me to let it go and squash the beef with him because “it ain’t no fun if your homies can’t have none…” am I wrong in feeling the opposite?

-Furious in Birmingham

***Furious in Birmingham, you are in no way wrong about your feelings! The girl you were dating, your ex- best friend, and all your  homeboys who are trying to force feed you this “sharing girls philosophy” are all assholes! You are better off without them. First off whether you two were together or not, she should not have been messing with one of your friends. That’s beyond messy. She does not get a pass! As for your “fraud friend” this only goes to show you that they do not give a damn about you, or respect the Bro Code. The latter iterates, albeit bluntly, you do not mess with a girl your friend was involved with. Sad to say, none of these people have your best interests at heart. Be furious for now, move on with your life, and don’t look back. You have learned a truly valuable lesson–ninjas ain’t loyal either!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

10/26/2014- “Sanctum (The Man Cave Wars)”

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Hey Mikey,

My husband is really beginning on my nerves. His bitchassness, as my girls and I like to call it, is really starting to turn me off! We recently purchased a fixer upper house that will soon be our dream home after a few renovations. It has six bedrooms and four bathrooms, a kitchen with an island, a walk-in closet (FOR ME!) and a basement that four cars can fit into. I’m really happy with the place and have a lot of plans on what we will be doing with each room. Two belong to my children, the master belongs to us, and the others I imagined would be a guest room, play room, and sewing room. My husband knew this beforehand but now he wants a “Man Cave.” I’m  not with that! It’s not what we planned and it seems really selfish. My sewing room is for my business, and the children need a room for their toys and games. He complains saying he does not have space to do anything he wants. I allow him to hang with his boys whenever he pleases; so I’m not sure where this is all coming from. I do know I’m tired of arguing though. He and I both follow your column, who’s in the wrong?

-The Bubbling Fashionista (website coming soon!)

***The Bubbling Fashionista, I would like for you to re-read your inquiry. I find a lot of selfishness coming from your corner and no bitchassness in his. Whether you had plans for the house or not it is still his home too. You are married, meaning you both have to make concessions. The children have their bedrooms and a play room; you have a walk-in closet and a sewing room–what does he have in his home to call his own? Let me correct you too. As a grown man you are not “allowing” him to go out with his boys. He can do that whether you like it or not. However, he is fighting for a man cave because it’s his way of telling you he needs space in his home. Everyone needs a place to retreat and trust me when I tell you there are millions of women who wished their man’s retreat was his home; and not the strip club or a side chick’s house. This is a simple family issue to resolve and requires compromise on your part. I’m sure you’d much rather stay a “Bubbling Fashionista” than become a divorced one.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

10/21/2014- “F**k The Cool Kids!”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m lonely. Like really lonely. I moved to Atlanta a year ago and I still really don’t know anyone. I’m outgoing, kind, and I always try to think of others before I act but no one here seems to care. They’re so clique-ish and I’m not use to that at all. A group of popular kids at my school invited me to go bowling with them last week and I was really happy. That’s until I realized they only invited me because I have an Expedition and they needed a ride….

They didn’t even know my name. They decided to cancel on me in then spread rumors that I was thirsty to be their friend. Ultra cliché right? Well everyone believes them, and now I’m being called everything from stalker to obsessed. The icing on the cake is the boy that I was kind of getting to know decided to abruptly stop talking to me because of it. This really hurts me and honestly, I feel like just taking some pills and calling it a night. This is hard and I’ve got two more years of high school with these assholes. What should I do?

-Being Me

***Being Me, FUCK THE COOL KIDS! You are a very smart girl and I commend you for not becoming another one of their minions. Just because that popular does not make them good people, evidenced in how they are now spreading rumors about you. Allow me to inform you that High School is very temporary! Life has a way of turning thingd around and these “popular kids” of today will be the losers of tomorrow. By the way, this is also a form of bullying you need to notify an adult. Darling, you do matter! Your life matters! Whether you’re joking or not, taking pills to fix any situation is NEVER okay. Continue to be yourself. Friends will come.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

☆☆☆Suicide is never a laughing matter if you or someone you know needs help please call The National Suicide Prevention Hotline  1-800-273-8255. Remember your life matters!☆☆☆