6/22/2014- “Commitment Under Pressure”

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Hey Mikey,

I recently moved to Atlanta from Cincinnati.  Before I left I was dating this guy. We broke up because neither of us wanted anything long distance. Now I just found out he has moved down here for his job and he wants to pick up where we left off. I don’t think I want to though. I feel like I wanna date around and see what Atlanta has to offer in the Men’s department, lol. Still I feel like have to date him too. I mean we were pretty serious. Just don’t know if I’m ready for a commitment. What should I do?

-Fresh A-Town Girl

***Fresh A-Town Girl, you don’t need my advice. You’re asking for permission to move on with your life and honestly only YOU can give yourself that power. If you don’t want a committed relationship right now then don’t be pressured into one and play the field. However, I will advise you to be a good girl and let this guy down easy. He clearly likes you to want to restart things now that he’s down here. It’s not cool to string him along with dates and allowing him to think something is going to happen between you two. This is your life darling, take control of it!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

7/16/2014- “The New Khloe Kardashian”

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Hey Mikey,

I really should not be feeling the way I am right now. Next week is my wedding and I really don’t want my older sister to come. All my life everyone has told me how beautiful she is, how sexy she is, and how lucky I am to have her as a sister. This is the reason I didn’t allow her to be a part of my wedding party. Now, I’m afraid she will update on my own wedding day. She will naturally show up in some stunning gown that will be designer and chic. I don’t want her to be the center of attention for a change. Should i uninvite her? Or ask her to dress down? Not tryna be the new Khloe Kardashian.

-Tryna Keep It Cool

***Tryna Keep It Cool, the real question you should be asking me is how to deal with the jealousy you have of your sister. I get that sometimes being the youngest sibling cast you in the shadow of your older sibling, but you have to realize you two are two completely different women with dynamic attributes. DO NOT ask her to dress down, and DO NOT UNINVITE HER TO YOUR WEDDING. Jealousy really is the ugliest trait, Keri Hilson knows it and you should too. Your wedding day, is your day! You are the bride, and all eyes will be on you. By the way I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being Khloe Kardashian she is beautiful, very rich, has a personality that could charm the wings off an angel, and definitely didn’t let her sister monopolize her wedding day. Think before you speak and act!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

7/9/2014 – “Her Brother’s Keeper”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m having what some people call a crisis of conscience. Last year my ex – fiancé and I called off our wedding because I found out he had been messing around with other guys. When I say messing around I mean having penatrative sex with them. Needless to say it broke my heart. Just when I think I’m getting past all this a little my little brother announces he is going to marry his longtime girlfriend. The only problem is I know he went through a gay phase when he was like 12. I caught him grinding on one of his male friends. It’s a secret I’ve always kept between us but I feel like his fiancée should know. Should I tell her or try to get him to? Somehow she needs to know there’s a possibility her man, my brother is gay.

-Anonymous

***Anonymous, this is a very tricky situation, but it is not the dilemma you are making it out to be. Think back and remind yourself just how young you and your brother both were when this happened. This is not all too uncommon. People forget that sexuality is fluid for both men and women. Just because someone does something once it does not mean they are prone to do it again. The laws of experimentation dictate you try it to see if it is for you or not. Honestly, the real issue is you have not dealt with the issues surrounding the demise of your own relationship. You are still trying to punish your ex, but foolishly attempting to do it through your brother. I advise you to allow yourself to forgive your ex and seek professional counseling. You’re making decisions with a clouded head and broken heart. Darling…that’s never a good look.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

6/24/2014- “The Eighteen Year Itch!”

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Hey Mikey,

I been with the same girl for 18 years now. I met her in middle school and she’s been my one and only since then. Now we are both about to turn thirty and I’m beginning to feel like I’ve missed out on some other experiences.  She’s the only person I’ve ever been with romantically and sexually, and although I do think I want to be with her for the rest of my life, I also want to be appease my curiosity about being with other women. Honestly, I do wanna take a break to explore that but I don’t wanna lose her forever in the process. What should I do? How can I make both us happy?

-Curious Landon

***Curious Landon, to put it simply you cannot have your cake and eat it too.  There’s nothing wrong with being curious, but is it really worth risking your relationship over? Being apart of someone’s life for eighteen years is no easy feat. In fact, very few marriages last that long nowadays. However, if you must explore other options then yes you two do need to take a break. Nevertheless, I forewarn you that this decision may have consequences you do not foresee. She could move on, you could fall for someone else, or the very nature of your relationship could change forever. There’s honestly no real way to make both of you happy when in a situation like this. Be prepared for someone to get hurt. 

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

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Michael "Mikey" Fanning; creator and owner of "HeyMikeyATL"

6/21/2014- “The Right Time”

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Hey Mikey,

Great advice. I have a question for you. How soon is too soon for “I love you?” I can see a great future with this guy Im dating but dont want to rush things.

-Far Too Gone

***Far Too Gone, there is no right or wrong time. It is a matter of having the courage to truly express how you feel.  Nevertheless, I caution you to truly know that you feel this way and really understand what love is. You’ll know when it is truly unconditional, when his needs come before your own, when you know you will be whatever he needs. With that being said, just because you feel this way does not mean he does too. Be prepared for him not to say it back. If this does happen it is not the end of the world or your courtship. Some people fall in love slower or quicker than others. Live in the moment knowing he knows how you feel. The rest is up to him.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

6/20/2014- “Praying For His Next Move”

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Hey Mikey!

I’ve heard great things about your advice column and wanted to know if I may have your thoughts on a something that is a bit new to me. Well I met this guy at the tail end of April. He is a very sweet guy. Its kind of like we can have a whole conversation w/o even saying a word. I mean like the whole “I was thinking the same thing” spill and finishing each other’s sentences. It was unlike anything I’ve experienced before. I few weeks later, he fell back a little, stating that he felt as if my feelings and emotions were progressing and developing faster than his. I couldn’t deny that… It was just the way he made me feel. We worked on it and slowed way down, getting to know more about each other. We recently hung out after about 6 wks of not seeing each other. I have to admit, seeing him brought on an influx of emotions that I was doing my best to suppress so I wouldn’t make him feel uncomfortable again. It was a cool evening. We played games, watched tv, talked, had a few drinks and grabbed a bite to eat. When it was time to retire for the evening, he made sure I was gonna be ok downstairs on the couch. A lil under the influence, I said yes and reassured that I was. He did caress my face and almost was teasing me. Now like I said before, we have an uncanny connection. I knew I was in the mood, but [couldn't] decipher if it was just me or tension between the both of us. But it was intense. Should I have followed him? I don’t wanna complicate things again with my intense feelings. I dont wanna be naive either! Should I just be cool and let it unfold or try to help steer the course? What do u think about this?

-Praying For That Guy

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6/7/2014- “Diamonds…Are A Guy’s Best Friend?”

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Hey Mikey,

So…my fiancée and I are kind of nontraditional. She approached me when we met, she pursued me, and she even proposed to me. Everyone thought her proposing to me was wierd but I really wasn’t surprised. She’s a go getter and that’s what I love about her. What I don’t like is how frugal she’s being.  She also went ahead and bought our wedding bands. Hers is diamond studded and mine…zirconia. I’m sort of a trendsetter and hate anything fake. I want to get a new ring but I know she’ll feel a certain way about that. What should I do?

-Engaged & Envious

***Engaged & Envious, yes your fiancée is definitely a go getter. There’s something powerful about a woman going after she wants and getting it. You definitely prove diamonds can be a guy’s best friend too! Seriously though, you both should have the rings that you want–within reason. Find a happy medium between what you want and what’s she’s given you. Keep the ring but swap the zirconia for real diamonds.  That’s a reasonable compromise. Remember the rings are merely symbols of your love. Don’t let this minor monkey stop the showboat of love headed your way. Congratulations!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

6/2/2014- “The Sin That Did Eve In!”

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Hey Mikey,

I’ve been trying to date and meet a good guy with no such luck. I finally meet one, and he’s married! He says he just wants to be friends but I can tell he wants more from me.  I can’t lie, I like the attention. Is that wrong? It’s just nice to feel wanted for a change. I know I would it be cool with this if I was his wife, but he and I have a connection and I’m so very tempted. My body is saying yes, but my spirit and conscience are screaming no! How do I let him down gently without hurting his feelings, and still remaining friends with him?

-Alabama Street Dreaming

***Alabama Street Dreaming, I can see why you would like the attention. However, all attention is not good attention! Especially, coming from a married man. He is forbidden fruit– sweet, easy on the eyes, and POISONOUS! That was the sin that did Eve in! He belongs to someone else and if you sense he wants more, he will never settle for less. Think of it from his wife’s point of view. Then ask yourself would you be okay if your man was doing this? The answer is most assuredly “NO.” No matter how hard you’re dating journey is don’t settle for being any man’s side chick. It’s never a good good look! Cut him off.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

6/2/2014- “Daddy’s Pervasion of an Innocent Kiss”

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Hey Mikey,

I have a little girl and my wife is always setting her up on play dates with other kids. I usually don’t mind. But last week my wife got sick so I took our daughter on the play date. There, she played with a little boy while her aunt and I chatted. I look over to check on the kids and her nephew is kissing my daughter on the cheek. I admit I kinda lost it and immediately snatched her up. The aunt tried to make light of the situation, saying they’re just four, like it didn’t matter. But I know what stuff like that can lead to. I told my wife what happened and she got upset with me like I was in the wrong. She even apologized to the boy’s aunt. I don’t feel like I was wrong for not wanting a little boy kissing on my daughter. How can I get my wife and his aunt to see things from my point of view?

-Old School Daddy

***Old School Daddy, you’re a protective father–I get that, and it’s commendable. More little girls need that in this day and age. However, I have to say that you are overreacting just a little bit. The little boy was simply showing affection towards your daughter, if you don’t want her being kissed then just say so. But you should not equate that innocent kiss to something far more mature and sexual. The only place this was leading to is the playground. I was once a little boy too, and I know when I kissed a girl on the cheek it was something that just a kiss. Flashback to when you were his age, and this gesture was as sweet and innocent as a first hand shake. Apologize to my aunt, and save this level of protectiveness for about another six years.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

6/1/2014- “Conceal, Don’t Feel”

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Hey Mikey,

My wife says I’m too rough on our son, but I’m just trying to make a man out of him. He’s six and cries at the drop of a dime when anything gets to him. She says he’s just being a little boy, but as his father I can tell that if I don’t do something about this now he’ll be that kid who’s picked on at school. He’s going to be a man and he can’t always just be acting out, you feel me? How can I toughen him up without being so “rough” with him?

-Vincent

***Vincent, your son is six–that’s not old at all. He hasn’t even lived an eighth of his life yet. Allow me to tell you this, as men society does us the great disservice of not allowing us to be human. “Conceal, don’t feel…” is the mantra forced fed to us as boys. This forces us to keep everything and every emotion to ourselves. Many of us fail to learn to love and show love, make any real connections with others, and greatly shorten our lives from the burden and stress of keeping everything in. This is no way to live. Let your son feel but do for him what might not have been done for you and teach him to control and positively express him emotions. Putting him on a team sport would be an excellent way to accomplish this. Vincent, being a good parent means ensuring your child has all of your strengths and none of your weaknesses. Place his emotional needs before your ego. It’s not a good look.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡