7/2/2015- “Confidence Meter–TURN IT UP!”

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confidence level conceptual meter

Hey Mikey,

I really love your advice column and I figure you can help me out with something. I’ve started to date this guy in the last week. He is very intelligent, kind, has great communication, but he lacks confidence. A few years back he was obese and his dating life was virtually nonexistent. Even though he has lost weight and looks great can’t see it, and wants to lose more weight. I tried to get him to have a meal with me later in the evening and he declined because he says it wouldn’t help his wait loss–he also would barely drink with me. I’m not the most fit guy myself, but I like to have fun and be able to say what I want to say without having to worry about hurting someone’s feelings. His low confidence worries me. I’m considering no longer dating him and advising him to work on himself. Should I?

-Actively Searching for BAE

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6/6/2015- “BLU= Boys Like U”

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Hey Mikey,

I feel like my heart is wrenching. I met this guy, we instantly hit it off, started talking and hanging everyday, and I’ve even helped him find a job. When I told him how I felt he told me I’m a handsome guy, but that he was not looking for a boyfriend. Two months later…he has a boyfriend…They even sorta lookalike. Both have great bodies and everything. We are still close, but I’m in pain whenever he’s around and brings him up, when I see them on social media posting, and especially when he asks me for relationship advice. I have voiced hurt to him, and he says that I’m his best friend and really needs my support. I don’t know, every time i look at him I see the guys of my dreams, his boyfriend kinda is too. How do I say to him boys like you remind me that I’m lonely.

-Foolishly Hoped

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5/29/2015- “Tinder Terror”

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Hey Mikey,

Last year I got on Tinder and met a guy named “Larry” and now I completely regret it! He seemed so cool and sweet online then when we met he tried to force himself on me. Yes! Like trying make me kiss him and wrestling me down to the floor. He even slapped me! I was too embarrassed to call the police and I did not want people finding out I am bisexual. Now suddenly I see him all the time at grocery stores, malls, restaurants, and even at bars. He always tries to whisper something to me or get loud with me. I’m not sure what to do, especially since I just found he has applied at my part time job. I need options that won’t out me. Please help!

-The Worried One

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***The Worried One, you should be worried! This sounds more like stalking than a series of coincidences. Whoever this guy is just won’t take no for an answer. I advise you to wisely say “yes.” Say yes to restraining orders, police reports, and good ol’ fashion tasers and pepper spray. Value your safety and peace of mind more than the repercussions of coming out. Not taking this seriously could have you more than worried–you could be DEAD!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

New Couple Alert? Khloe Kardashian (@khloekardashian) Allegedly Dating Rick Fox (@RickFox)!

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Is Khloe Kardashian and French Montana off again? Rumors are circulating that Khloe is dating former NBA star and actor Rick Fox, yes, RICK FOX (insert Tasha Mack’s hands here)!

According to reports the two were spotted in Sherman Oaks, California enjoying a late night dinner at Casa Vega on Thursday. The two apparently arrives separately at the restaurant at around 11:45 p.m. and left sometime around 1:30 a.m.

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5/20/2015- “Too Hard To Be Light-Skinned”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m not sure what the f***is going on lately, but the hate on light skinned dudes is real and HIGH! Just the other day this girl said she did not know how to take me because I “act too hard for a light skinned guy.” Like what the hell does that mean? Then just today a girl I really like said the only reason girls nowadays get with light skinned guys is to have pretty babies. Am I dating the wrong girls or is this the trend because everyone’s telling me they’re right. As a Black man I have enough to deal with without having to prove my blackness based on the tint of my skin. What should I do to deal with all this?

-Anti-Color Struck

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***Anti-Color Struck, your situation is a sad and ignorant one. I want to say these are isolated incidents but lately I too have met a number of lighter skinned African-American men who tell me the stereotypes, prejudice and disdain they have faced just because they are not darker skinned. Do not let this get to you. Honestly, it is beyond you and as old as the slavery itself. History lesson: Lighter skinned slaves were the master’s children and lived and worked in the house and did not have to do the harder, menial tasks of darker skinned slaves so they seemed softer and less threatening. Translate that to present day and some people assume because you are light skinned you are weaker, not quite as Black, or do not know the meaning of a hard life.

Cut these girls off and toss their ignorance to the side. There is someone for everyone and they are only showing their insecurities. The measure of any man is how he governs himself, not the color or shade of his skin. They are stupid and color struck–not worth your time and thoughts. Yell out loud, “IDFWU!”

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

5/3/2015- “Ciara (@ciara) Betted Right!”

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Hey Mikey,

So…my girl and I broke up six months ago. When I saw her out she acted all nice and sweet to me, but then I see her posting pictures with some dude on IG over the next three weeks. I guess dude has money because she been showing bags he bought her and she been flying to different places with him. He ain’t got me looks wise, but I don’t think his money is legit if you know what I mean. I don’t have any real proof just speculation. I mean who has all that cash at 22? Everyone says it is none of my business, but she and I were like best friends ’til she caught me talking to another girl. I’m really just trying to look out for her. Would I be wrong for doing a background check on the guy she is talking to now?

-Chino

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***Chino, speculation is just a sophisticated why of excusing your assumptions–something you have no right to do when it comes to your ex. She has moved on and so should you. Ghost following and tracking her via Instagram are not a good look! I can tell her kindness to you the last time you two crossed paths ignited hopes of reconciliation and now you want to sabotage her fledgling relationship now that she has found someone who’s financially a step up. Don’t be mad, don’t be sad, don’t do any background checks, don’t be resentful or bitter. Just MOVE ON This is what happens when you break up with someone…they find somebody new–and in the words of Ciara, “…somebody better than you…”

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

4/9/2015- “Gay Fat”

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Hey Mikey,

Dating life for me has been incredibly hard. Despite the fact that I’ve lost over fifty pounds I have yet to find a guy who wants to be with me. I was 280 lbs this times last year and now I’m 230–still no one will date me. I keep hearing that I am really cute or sexy, but I’m a little thicker than guys here in Atlanta like. According to my straight guy friends and my girls I am not big, but I know they don’t get it. I’m only normal size by straight people’s standards. A guy once rudely told me that if I have to look like the guys I want and that once I lose some more weight I won’t be single. I really like what I have accomplished with my help, but I feel pressured to lose more weight. I hate exercise with a passion and I’d only be doing it to date….What should I do?

-Walking Eyesore

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***Walking Eyesore, your name pains me. You’re nobody’s eyesore. They have the problem, not you. As someone who routinely suffers from #ThickBoyBlues, I understand exactly where you are coming from. People see your weight before they see you, rejecting you before they even give you a chance. You unfortunately, are what people call “Gay Fat; normal by straight standards and fat by gay ones. The gay world is a surprisingly shallow one , considering how much intolerance they have to deal with.  Many people would say men are visual creatures who “like what they like,” and unfortunately this is part of the problem. I say you should do only what makes YOU happy! People nowadays act like a banging body is a Black Card, not realizing in time it will fade. Happiness before vanity my friend!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡