6/22/2014- “Commitment Under Pressure”

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Hey Mikey,

I recently moved to Atlanta from Cincinnati.  Before I left I was dating this guy. We broke up because neither of us wanted anything long distance. Now I just found out he has moved down here for his job and he wants to pick up where we left off. I don’t think I want to though. I feel like I wanna date around and see what Atlanta has to offer in the Men’s department, lol. Still I feel like have to date him too. I mean we were pretty serious. Just don’t know if I’m ready for a commitment. What should I do?

-Fresh A-Town Girl

***Fresh A-Town Girl, you don’t need my advice. You’re asking for permission to move on with your life and honestly only YOU can give yourself that power. If you don’t want a committed relationship right now then don’t be pressured into one and play the field. However, I will advise you to be a good girl and let this guy down easy. He clearly likes you to want to restart things now that he’s down here. It’s not cool to string him along with dates and allowing him to think something is going to happen between you two. This is your life darling, take control of it!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

6/24/2014- “The Eighteen Year Itch!”

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Hey Mikey,

I been with the same girl for 18 years now. I met her in middle school and she’s been my one and only since then. Now we are both about to turn thirty and I’m beginning to feel like I’ve missed out on some other experiences.  She’s the only person I’ve ever been with romantically and sexually, and although I do think I want to be with her for the rest of my life, I also want to be appease my curiosity about being with other women. Honestly, I do wanna take a break to explore that but I don’t wanna lose her forever in the process. What should I do? How can I make both us happy?

-Curious Landon

***Curious Landon, to put it simply you cannot have your cake and eat it too.  There’s nothing wrong with being curious, but is it really worth risking your relationship over? Being apart of someone’s life for eighteen years is no easy feat. In fact, very few marriages last that long nowadays. However, if you must explore other options then yes you two do need to take a break. Nevertheless, I forewarn you that this decision may have consequences you do not foresee. She could move on, you could fall for someone else, or the very nature of your relationship could change forever. There’s honestly no real way to make both of you happy when in a situation like this. Be prepared for someone to get hurt. 

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

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Michael "Mikey" Fanning; creator and owner of "HeyMikeyATL"

6/21/2014- “The Right Time”

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Hey Mikey,

Great advice. I have a question for you. How soon is too soon for “I love you?” I can see a great future with this guy Im dating but dont want to rush things.

-Far Too Gone

***Far Too Gone, there is no right or wrong time. It is a matter of having the courage to truly express how you feel.  Nevertheless, I caution you to truly know that you feel this way and really understand what love is. You’ll know when it is truly unconditional, when his needs come before your own, when you know you will be whatever he needs. With that being said, just because you feel this way does not mean he does too. Be prepared for him not to say it back. If this does happen it is not the end of the world or your courtship. Some people fall in love slower or quicker than others. Live in the moment knowing he knows how you feel. The rest is up to him.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

6/20/2014- “Praying For His Next Move”

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Hey Mikey!

I’ve heard great things about your advice column and wanted to know if I may have your thoughts on a something that is a bit new to me. Well I met this guy at the tail end of April. He is a very sweet guy. Its kind of like we can have a whole conversation w/o even saying a word. I mean like the whole “I was thinking the same thing” spill and finishing each other’s sentences. It was unlike anything I’ve experienced before. I few weeks later, he fell back a little, stating that he felt as if my feelings and emotions were progressing and developing faster than his. I couldn’t deny that… It was just the way he made me feel. We worked on it and slowed way down, getting to know more about each other. We recently hung out after about 6 wks of not seeing each other. I have to admit, seeing him brought on an influx of emotions that I was doing my best to suppress so I wouldn’t make him feel uncomfortable again. It was a cool evening. We played games, watched tv, talked, had a few drinks and grabbed a bite to eat. When it was time to retire for the evening, he made sure I was gonna be ok downstairs on the couch. A lil under the influence, I said yes and reassured that I was. He did caress my face and almost was teasing me. Now like I said before, we have an uncanny connection. I knew I was in the mood, but [couldn't] decipher if it was just me or tension between the both of us. But it was intense. Should I have followed him? I don’t wanna complicate things again with my intense feelings. I dont wanna be naive either! Should I just be cool and let it unfold or try to help steer the course? What do u think about this?

-Praying For That Guy

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6/2/2014- “The Sin That Did Eve In!”

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Hey Mikey,

I’ve been trying to date and meet a good guy with no such luck. I finally meet one, and he’s married! He says he just wants to be friends but I can tell he wants more from me.  I can’t lie, I like the attention. Is that wrong? It’s just nice to feel wanted for a change. I know I would it be cool with this if I was his wife, but he and I have a connection and I’m so very tempted. My body is saying yes, but my spirit and conscience are screaming no! How do I let him down gently without hurting his feelings, and still remaining friends with him?

-Alabama Street Dreaming

***Alabama Street Dreaming, I can see why you would like the attention. However, all attention is not good attention! Especially, coming from a married man. He is forbidden fruit– sweet, easy on the eyes, and POISONOUS! That was the sin that did Eve in! He belongs to someone else and if you sense he wants more, he will never settle for less. Think of it from his wife’s point of view. Then ask yourself would you be okay if your man was doing this? The answer is most assuredly “NO.” No matter how hard you’re dating journey is don’t settle for being any man’s side chick. It’s never a good good look! Cut him off.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

5/23/2014- “Am I Dating Down?”

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Mikey,

I’m a self-professed gym rat. I definitely believe in maintaining my body and I like having a really tones and muscular physique. I normally date guys who look like me. Currently though I’m dating a guy with an average to thick build, at least that’s what Grindr and Jackd would describe him as, LOL. Seriously though he really holds me down. He cooks, takes me out, really cares about me, and the sex is good too. Didn’t think I could feel all that about a big boy. In Atlanta our pairing ain’t exactly the norm. My friends and family say I’m dating down…do you think it sounds like I am?

-Delroy

***Delroy, honestly what I, or anyone else thinks, doesn’t really matter. As long as you have found someone you like and are compatible with then you’re golden. Remember, compatibility, chemistry, and love is so much deeper than anything physical. So no, you’re not dating downward. You are simply following your heart, and not your eyes. Lastly–”The norm?” Really? With as much prejudice as gay men face  I’d think your preferences would be more inclusive. Release whatever insecurities you feel about him or your relationship. After all, you can’t live your life based on the thoughts and opinions of others. Especially when those thoughts are dead ass wrong!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post. Be sure to pick a code name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

5/23/2014- “Standing Frozen”

Queen Elsa from Disney's "Frozen"
Queen Elsa from Disney's "Frozen"

Hey Mikey,

I’m kinda going through a lot right now. I got a new job offer  in New Orleans. It’s kind of my dream job and def means more money. Still, my family and ex-boyfriend are here. I’m close with my family and my ex is hinting that he wants to get back together. We had a bad break up, but we still kick it with each other on and off. I know if I leave I’ll be out there by myself, but I kind of do want to get away, my past in ATL holds a lotta bad memories for me–deaths, disappointments, heartache, etc. Do you think I should move? I know it’ll be the end of he and I for sure if I choose to do so. From his own admission he’s “not good at long distance anything…”

-Still Standing, But Scared

***Still Standing, But Scared; your pen name should be “Standing Frozen.” You  cannot allow events and people from your past keep you from moving forward to the future. Right now you’re at this weird apex in the present and it doesn’t seem like you’re really living or falling apart. You have said this opportunity in New Orleans is your dream job and you should go for it! Your family, if they’re sane, will support you doing better. As far as your ex, no one can live their life off “ifs,” “maybes,” and “mights.” He is your ex for a reason, remember that. Trust me darlin’ if it’s meant to be it will definitely work itself out. Queen Elsa sang it best when she sang, Standing frozen in the life I’ve chosen…You won’t find me, the past is so behind me…” Have a beignet for me!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post. Be sure to pick a code name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

Cupid’s Got A Belle–In Brooklyn? Get To Know Demetria Lucas!

Demetria Lucas; writer, blogger, life coach, humanitarian and star of Bravo TV's "Blood, Sweat, & Heels!"
Demetria Lucas; writer, blogger, life coach, humanitarian and star of Bravo TV's "Blood, Sweat, & Heels!"

Love is “ALL.” That last word is infinitely simple, yet intricately deep and all-encompassing. Thus, it is no wonder that love is as alien to some of us as Martian soil. However, as a species we are not completely lost, every now and then someone comes along who gets it; someone who knows that the “all” in love is peppered with work, trial and error, patience, and knowing one’s self-worth. The lovely, intelligent, and determined Demetria Lucas is one of these rare individuals. Hailing from Prince George’s County in Maryland, this rising star left her suburban roots to move to New York City and become, “a belle in Brooklyn.”

            Tons of people will claim to be relationship experts, and dish you age old advice which are mostly watered down wives’ tales from the ages. Demetria, however, comes from a newer generation of women who dare to know their self-worth and covet it like royal jewelry. Part of Demetria’s worth is definitely expressed through her writing. Unlike most people, she always knew she wanted to be a writer from a very young age, solidifying this decision after reading Terry McMillan’s “Waiting To Exhale.” “My mother had the book and one day I just picked up and started reading it…I couldn’t put it down…I spent the next several hours reading it…I found it so captivating how the women were living their lives and dealing with everything…” From there she also knew she wanted to be an author. Her interests in relationships, however, stems from listening to the good ol’ “girl talk” between her mother and her girlfriends. “They [her mother and her mother’s friends] would come over and sit in the kitchen and just discuss issues surrounding who they were dating at the time, or what was going on in their romantic lives…you definitely learn a lot from listening in…”

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5/16/2015- “The Kardashian Exception”

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Hey Mikey,

A girlfriend of mine just turned me into your site. I like it and respect your advice.  So I’m dating a local rapper whose made a good name for himself in the industry. We been doing some pretty nifty stuff, the kinda stuff that made Ms. Kardashian famous.  He wants to release the footage and says with his connections it can be just as big. I know the negative connotations to  doing that but can you think of the positives? I mean we could at least get a few hundred grand right?

-Fuchsia Princess

***Fuchsia Princess, all I can do is shake my head.  This rapper you’re kicking it with is exploiting you and I see you’re tempted to allow him to do so for a few hundred grand. Let me tell you something,  and it’ll be the same thing someone should’ve told Ms. Faust down here in Atlanta.  Kim Kardashians famous success from her sex tape is the rare exception and not the rule! Most sex tapes, end up in the back of trunks, or nowadays free downloads on MyVidster and XTube! No money is worth revealing your private time with someone you claim to care about. Think about it, is your reputation, soul, and worth just a couple hundred grand? Even better yet, whatever you decide to be a mother. What will you tell your children about this tape? Especially your daughters! Use those few billion neurons God gave you and make the obvious decision. Just as you respect my advice, I expect you to respect yourself.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post. Be sure to pick a code name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

5/15/2014- “His Main Chick”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m really feeling this guy I’m talking to. But, and I hate there’s a “but;” I don’t know if he’s talking to other girls on the side. We aren’t together, but the way I am if I found out he was I would definitely back off and stop talking to him. We’ve been kicking a strong for about 2 months now and I want him to be my boyfriend but I don’t know if he’s going to ask me or not to be his girlfriend because I doubt he’s exclusive with me. How do I find out?  I’m not trying to be on the Inspector Gadget tip, but a girl’s gotta know right?

-Diva Z

***Diva Z, I’m currently humming lyrics from main chick by Chris Brown, my apologies! On a serious note, the best approach is the straightforward approach! This means you just need to ask him. Don’t go into anything blindly, so the best way to light your path is for him to tell you. Let him know how you feel about him, and where you would like to see your relationship go. If he’s not ready then you have the option of moving on, and if he is then you have a brand new boyfriend. However, just remember that as long as you two aren’t officially together then he has free reign to date and pursue whomever he would like.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post. Be sure to pick a code name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡