12/18/2014- “Shawty…He Don’t Mind…”

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Hey Mikey!

My little brother is in a relationship with a stripper! Yes, a dirty, dancing, slut bucket, nude for cash ass stripper! What’s worst is he met her at a church gathering. She did not tell him she was a stripper upfront until they got serious. I feel she should have told him before and her lying is going to be their downfall. He acts like he does not have a problem with her doing that but I know no man wants to be with a girl who dances. It is just too much. He needs a rude awakening as to how life works. What would you suggest I do to snap him out of his reality and get him with a good girl? No one in my family is going to accept her and I am not gonna keep her profession–if that’s what they call it–a secret from our parents for too long!

-Freakin’ Disgusted

***(singing) Shawty…He Don’t Mind…(stops singing) Freakin’ Disgusted your name should be “Freakin’ Nosey,” honestly this is none of your business. Your brother’s love life is his alone to control and navigate. You and the rest of your family should stay in your lane. Be concerned, but do not be delusional in thinking you can or have the right to try and split them up. Your brother obviously does not have a problem with her dancing and neither should you. Nowadays people talk about strippers like they talk about serial killers, and it is getting to be a bit much. Remember, love and the outcome thereof, is a decision left to fate…

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☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

Rumor Mill: Chris Brown Has A “New Flame” with Kendall Jenner!

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They say the best way to get over an old love is with a new love. Maybe that is exactly what Chris Brown is doing. After two public and controversial break ups with Rihanna and Karrueche Tran, Breezy has allegedly invaded the Kardashian camp. Yep, you heard it first here! Rumor has it that Brown is now dating Kendall Jenner; supermodel, daughter of Kris and Bruce Jenner, and younger sister to The Kardashians. Over the weeked multiple pictures were taken with him and Kendall along with other rappers, her younger sister Kylie, and older sister, Khloe.

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It is no real surprise The Kardashians are keen to take him in. He is Black and controversial–so their type. Still this is new territory for Chris and he should be wary. His reputation is perpetually less than stellar and dating a member of the Kardashian Clan–even an honorary one–can decimate your image or career when it is over. Do the names Bruce Jenner, Chris Humphries, Lamar Odom, or Scott Disick ring a bell? Here comes a whole heap of trouble followed by a never ending train of stupid and scrutiny coming their way if these rumors are true. We will keep you posted!

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12/8/2014- “Bye Felipe”

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Hey Mikey,

This on again and off again status relationship between me and my boyfriend, Frank, is really pissing me off! For the last two months he has broken up and gotten back together with me at least every other week. He has broken up with me for picking him up five minutes late, baking chicken instead of frying it, and once for not having an ugly sweater for some “Ugly Christmas Sweater” themed party. I CAN’T! I feel like I have to be doing something for him to nitpick every single thing I do. Help me out here Mikey. Am I the crazy one or is he?

-Desperately Disheveled

***Desperately Disheveled YOU ARE BOTH CRAZY! Obviously you never heard Taylor Swift when she sang, “…we are never ever, EVER getting back together!” Either he is very petty or very controlling, neither are a good look. This needs to be done once and for all. Have a candid conversation and tell him you are going to be together and committed or you will not be anything. No sane woman will be with a man who checks her about not having an ugly sweater for some equally ugly party! Girl, it is hard to be a healthy individual when you are surrounded by bullshit. Move on! There are plenty of men with better fashion sense, cooler parties to attend, and won’t give you the drama Frank, I mean “Felipe” is causing. So “Bye Felipe!”

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☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

11/24/2014- “Don’t Be An ‘Askhole!'”

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Hey Mikey,

My friend is not talking to me right now. Apparently, because I don’t follow her advice, she feels I’m a lost cause. I don’t have the best luck with guys (everybody says I attract bad guys), so I admit to making her into my confidante. Still, I don’t always tell her about them for her to advise me. Sometimes I just want to tell her what is going on with me without judgement. Her recent break from my life means she has been judging me all along. I miss her though. Any advice Mikey?

-Angel Baby 5

***Angel Baby 5, honestly I’m hesitant to offer you any advice. There’s no guarantee you will follow it.  You are what we call an “Askhole!”An Askhole is a person who constantly acts for advice and then does the exact opposite every time. You need to stop! Your friend is not judging you, she is simply fed up with you dumping your issues on her. As a friend she is trying to help you find a solution to your man problems so both of you can have piece of mind. You need to apologize wholeheartedly and change your interaction with her. No more dumping your relationship drama on her and get some real help. Remember you attract what you put out; work on yourself and a good man will come along at the right time.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

 

11/4/2014- “Ninjas Ain’t Loyal Either”

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Hey Mikey,

My ex-best friend swears by your column so I decided to give you a try. The reason he’s my ex-best friend is because I just found out he’s been smashing the girl I’ve been seeing behind my back for the last four months. Mind you she and I have been dating for five of those months, AND they met through me. She and I don’t really have any labels attached to our set up; so I feel like I can’t really be mad at her. Needless to say, when it comes to my homeboy I’m furious beyond words. He and I were like brothers. My other boys told me to let it go and squash the beef with him because “it ain’t no fun if your homies can’t have none…” am I wrong in feeling the opposite?

-Furious in Birmingham

***Furious in Birmingham, you are in no way wrong about your feelings! The girl you were dating, your ex- best friend, and all your  homeboys who are trying to force feed you this “sharing girls philosophy” are all assholes! You are better off without them. First off whether you two were together or not, she should not have been messing with one of your friends. That’s beyond messy. She does not get a pass! As for your “fraud friend” this only goes to show you that they do not give a damn about you, or respect the Bro Code. The latter iterates, albeit bluntly, you do not mess with a girl your friend was involved with. Sad to say, none of these people have your best interests at heart. Be furious for now, move on with your life, and don’t look back. You have learned a truly valuable lesson–ninjas ain’t loyal either!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

10/2/2014- “The School of Carrie Bradshaw”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m in love, and I’m now in debt! My girlfriend for the past year has made me really happy, but she’s  also spending my money faster than I can make it. She stays at the mall! Saks, Michael Kors, Chanel, Dior, Cartier–you name it and she’s got to have it. I admit I have a healthy love of labels, but usually on a budget. I feel like this is my fault. I slick convinced her to quit her job and said I’d take care of her, but clearly at this pace I cannot. What should I do to get her to slow down? I don’t wanna come off as some scrub in front of my lady Mikey. Fix this!

-Account Zero

***Account Zero, fixing this issue is all on YOU! First off, you shouldn’t be taking on responsibilities you are not 100% sure you can afford. By making her quit her job, and offering to take care of her, you essentially agreed to be her sole provider. Therefore, she should be able to shop, wine, and  dine on your dime! Clearly, your girl is an avid student at “The School of Carrie Bradshaw,” meaning she likes her money where she can see it; hanging in her closet…” The solution to the issue is simple, she has to be put on a budget. Sit down with a financial planner–a professional one– not your boys or father; and see just how much money you can spare for her to actually splurge on. Do not allow her to go over this amount. It is as simple as that. Naturally, she will resist being put on a budget, especially after everything that has transpired. Still, money should not be a make or break issue for your relationship, but is a humongous reason many relationships meet their demise. In the future do not be so impetuous  with your decision making, especially when it involves a woman. My father always says a man needs three things that work: “A gun that works, a dog that works, and a woman that works…” Food for thought, huh? Remember  it is 2014 and a two income household is the norm.

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MIKEY, owner and sole operator of HeyMikeyATL.com

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

9/30/2014- “The Size of His Hound Dog”

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Hey Mikey,

I was listening to The Rickey Smiley Morning Show this morning and someone brought up a statement about pets that I found intriguing. Apparently women are suspicious of a guy who has a toy breed dog. When I say toy breed I mean miniatures like Shiatsus and Chihuahuas, the breeds you could definitely tote in a bag. I myself have a papillon.  I am just wondering if this is why I cannot get a date. I work out, i don’t cheat, I am told I am very handsome, and I work in IT, but whenever I invite a woman over she does not seem to “bite” the way I want her to. They will play with my dog and then make some excuse to call it a night. Maybe they think I am gay because I have a small dog, but I have had small dogs since I was an infant. In fact my mother was a breeder. How do I get around this dating barrier and get this women to be into me?

-Love My Papillon

***Love My Papillon, your devotion to your trinket puppy is sweet and admirable. No one has the right to judge your pet decisions. If a woman prioritizes the type of dog you have over whether you’re a great guy who is also monogamous, attractive, and employed then she has the problem–NOT you! Continue to date and be yourself. The right woman is out there. Trust me; she will love you dog and all, without you ever having to justify your love for your precious pooch.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡