8/21/2014- “The Universal Solution”

wpid-no.jpg.jpeg

Hey Mikey,

Currently I’m overwhelmed with two problems in my life. The first being my mother. She constantly asks me for money, promises to pay me back, then scolds me for being a disrespectful daughter when I have to ask for her to pay me back. To further complicate my life, my boyfriend and I are so on and off repeatedly, that I don’t really know where we stand anymore. He says he loves me and I do love him too but I don’t think I wanna try anymore. Every time he asks for another chance I just wind up taking him back. What should I do to move past all this? I don’t wanna alienate my mother or force my boyfriend out of my life.

-Feeling Powerless

***Feeling Powerless, you alone are the most powerful person in this situation.  You should exercise that aforementioned power with the simple use of the word, “No.” That’s right there’s no book or law or rule that says you have to give your mother money or keep taking your boyfriend back.  The Universal Solution to pain is on the edge of your tongue just waiting to be spoken and fix your issues! Remember our problems end and begin with us.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

8/8/2014- “Spiritually Self-Medicating”

image

Hey Mikey,

My friend of twelve years has turned out to be a complete backstabber. I find out he has been sleeping with my girlfriend for the last three months.  I feel so stupid!  All the times I’ve left him home with her and let him stay over they been kicking it right under my nose.  I threw both of them out.  It’s easier to get her out my life but,  he and I are different.  He’s left like a thousand messages asking me to forgive him and for us to talk but I don’t know. … Mikey what should I do?  I’m sure you’ve dealt with betrayal of some sort before.

-Dead Inside

***Dead Inside,  allow me to resurrect the inner sanctums of your heart and soul.  You have been dealt a monumental blow that will take some time to heal from.  It’s time to offer yourself some healing in the form of forgiveness.  Forgive yourself and then the two of them.  Accept that you may have been the catalyst that brought them together, but their indiscretions are faults all their own. Now forgiveness does not mean you have to be around them,  or treat things the same. It instead allows you to spiritually self-medicate to heal and move on with your life.  You don’t wish them harm,  you don’t wish them well–you move on. 

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

Tyler Perry creates new series for OWN! “If Loving You Is Wrong” looks so right!

if-loving-you-is-wrong

Tyler Perry and OWN go together like a bad ass model in a hot red dress–downright dynamite! If you love “The Haves & The Have Nots,” (HAHN) then you are going to love his latest series, “If Loving You Is Wrong!” The show has a diverse cast and follows the lives and loves of five women; Alex, Kelly, Marcie, Esperanza and Natalie. Each of them is determined to have it all, but find love is becoming a commodity they may never be able to afford, especially with the rising drama in their lives.  The season premiere opens with a two hour special and the drama in full swing according to the official press release:

The season premiere opens in the middle of a torrid affair between neighbors Randal (Eltony Williams, “24”) and Alex (Amanda Clayton, “John Carter”). Randal’s wife Marcie (Heather Hemmens, “Hellcats”) desperately wants children, but Randal’s attention is focused on the wife of his best friend Brad (Aiden Turner, “All My Children”).  Just down the street, divorcee Esperanza (Zulay Henao, “Single Moms Club”) is trying to move on with her life, while keeping a budding relationship with Julius (Octavio Pizano, “East Los High”) a secret from her vindictive ex-husband Edward (Joel Rush, “Days of Our Lives”). Meanwhile, neighbor Kelly (Edwina Findley, “Treme”) longs to marry Travis (Denzel Wells) who is away on a relief mission in Haiti and who has promised to help her raise her 8-year-old son, Justice. Outside of the neighborhood, single mother Natalie (April Parker-Jones, “Jericho”) struggles to raise her children in the inner city. Lushion (Charles Malik Whitfield, “Law and Order”), the father of her son Frank, has returned to town and stepped up to the plate to help. In addition, Natalie grapples with the tough decision whether or not to allow her fourth son, Joey (Matt Cook), to return home once he is released from prison.

Continue reading

7/30/2014- “Woman Drama”

image

Hey Mikey,

I’m having some issues with my new girlfriend and I’m not sure what do about them. I have been trying to be friends with my ex girlfriend, and I even introduced her to my new girlfriend. Surprisingly, they hit it off and actually became good friends. I figured I had nothing to worry about until me and my new girl got into an argument. She brought up some stuff from my old relationship to back up fears she has about us being together. My ex claims that she hasn’t said anything to her incriminating about me, but I just don’t know because she has a history of meddling in other people’s business. I did also catch my new girlfriend reading my journal, maybe she found out from there. I doubt that my ex girlfriend would say something nasty about me, due to her deeply spiritual nature. What should I do to patch up things between me and my new girl? I do want us to work out.

-Woman Drama

Continue reading

7/26/2014- “Prozac & Textbooks”

image

Mikey,

My life just got turned upside down. I recently found out my wife is bipolar. She was diagnosed this past week by our doctor.  Honestly, I thought she was just moody but now I see it for what it really is–a disease. For the most part, things are good between us but right now we definitely disagree about her working. She is a Kindergarten teacher and I don’t think she should continue working.  No Child should be subjected to someone with that type of condition. We already have a daughter and I’m keeping tabs on her personally. But the parents of those other kids won’t know she is ill. She feels like I’m being a tyrant, but I’m just trying to protect her and give her an easier life. What do you personally think? I’m good at admitting when I’m in the wrong, but this time in think I’m in the right.

-Temperance

***Temperance, I’d prefer your pen name be “Understanding” or “Empathetic.” Those two things are exactly what your wife needs at the moment.  Just because a person is bipolar does not mean she cannot work as a teacher. As long as she takes her medication and regularly sees a licensed psychiatrist for therapy she should be fine. FYI man people you are not aware of doctors, policemen, specialists, and even some Presidents have mental illnesses and are in no way deficient at their jobs. Don’t allow assumptions and misinformation keep you from fully understanding your wife’s condition or even worse prevent her from living her life!  By the way, keep an eye on your daughter and not because she is in danger from her mother,  but because the condition is hereditary and females are more prone to it. Be a great husband and responsible partner!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

For more information on mental illness please check out the website for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) click the link below:
  National Alliance on Mental Illness

7/26/2014- “How To Deal (Thank You Frankie J)”

wpid-tabpobno.jpeg

Hey Mikey,

I have to move to New York for a big opportunity. The problem is my girl just got into a really good pre-med program at Emory. Being a doctor is her dream and I can’t ask her to come with me. I certainly don’t wanna stay though and not fulfill my dreams. What should I do because I feel like she’s the one and I don’t want to break up? Still, I know from past conversations neither of us are good at long distance anything.  Please help,  I’m really stressed and pressed by this.

-Dream Chaser

***Dream Chaser, this is one of those double edged situations where you’re hurt and benefitted at the same time.  Honestly, you and your girl have to do what is best for you at this time. If you feel like she’s the one,  and she truly is, then everything will work itself out no matter what life and distance may throw at you. Sorry but life’s not some old Burger King motto, you can’t “have it your way.” The fulfillment of any dream will come with some price. Pay it now and avoid regret later. After all regret is the one emotion you can’t do anything about…

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

7/22/2014- “Commitment Under Pressure”

image

Hey Mikey,

I recently moved to Atlanta from Cincinnati.  Before I left I was dating this guy. We broke up because neither of us wanted anything long distance. Now I just found out he has moved down here for his job and he wants to pick up where we left off. I don’t think I want to though. I feel like I wanna date around and see what Atlanta has to offer in the Men’s department, lol. Still I feel like have to date him too. I mean we were pretty serious. Just don’t know if I’m ready for a commitment. What should I do?

-Fresh A-Town Girl

***Fresh A-Town Girl, you don’t need my advice. You’re asking for permission to move on with your life and honestly only YOU can give yourself that power. If you don’t want a committed relationship right now then don’t be pressured into one and play the field. However, I will advise you to be a good girl and let this guy down easy. He clearly likes you to want to restart things now that he’s down here. It’s not cool to string him along with dates and allowing him to think something is going to happen between you two. This is your life darling, take control of it!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

7/9/2014 – “Her Brother’s Keeper”

image

Hey Mikey,

I’m having what some people call a crisis of conscience. Last year my ex – fiancé and I called off our wedding because I found out he had been messing around with other guys. When I say messing around I mean having penatrative sex with them. Needless to say it broke my heart. Just when I think I’m getting past all this a little my little brother announces he is going to marry his longtime girlfriend. The only problem is I know he went through a gay phase when he was like 12. I caught him grinding on one of his male friends. It’s a secret I’ve always kept between us but I feel like his fiancée should know. Should I tell her or try to get him to? Somehow she needs to know there’s a possibility her man, my brother is gay.

-Anonymous

***Anonymous, this is a very tricky situation, but it is not the dilemma you are making it out to be. Think back and remind yourself just how young you and your brother both were when this happened. This is not all too uncommon. People forget that sexuality is fluid for both men and women. Just because someone does something once it does not mean they are prone to do it again. The laws of experimentation dictate you try it to see if it is for you or not. Honestly, the real issue is you have not dealt with the issues surrounding the demise of your own relationship. You are still trying to punish your ex, but foolishly attempting to do it through your brother. I advise you to allow yourself to forgive your ex and seek professional counseling. You’re making decisions with a clouded head and broken heart. Darling…that’s never a good look.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

6/24/2014- “The Eighteen Year Itch!”

wpid-love-itches.jpg

Hey Mikey,

I been with the same girl for 18 years now. I met her in middle school and she’s been my one and only since then. Now we are both about to turn thirty and I’m beginning to feel like I’ve missed out on some other experiences.  She’s the only person I’ve ever been with romantically and sexually, and although I do think I want to be with her for the rest of my life, I also want to be appease my curiosity about being with other women. Honestly, I do wanna take a break to explore that but I don’t wanna lose her forever in the process. What should I do? How can I make both us happy?

-Curious Landon

***Curious Landon, to put it simply you cannot have your cake and eat it too.  There’s nothing wrong with being curious, but is it really worth risking your relationship over? Being apart of someone’s life for eighteen years is no easy feat. In fact, very few marriages last that long nowadays. However, if you must explore other options then yes you two do need to take a break. Nevertheless, I forewarn you that this decision may have consequences you do not foresee. She could move on, you could fall for someone else, or the very nature of your relationship could change forever. There’s honestly no real way to make both of you happy when in a situation like this. Be prepared for someone to get hurt. 

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

image

Michael "Mikey" Fanning; creator and owner of "HeyMikeyATL"

6/21/2014- “The Right Time”

wpid-creative-ways-to-say-i-love-you-to-your-partner-for-the-first-time.jpg

Hey Mikey,

Great advice. I have a question for you. How soon is too soon for “I love you?” I can see a great future with this guy Im dating but dont want to rush things.

-Far Too Gone

***Far Too Gone, there is no right or wrong time. It is a matter of having the courage to truly express how you feel.  Nevertheless, I caution you to truly know that you feel this way and really understand what love is. You’ll know when it is truly unconditional, when his needs come before your own, when you know you will be whatever he needs. With that being said, just because you feel this way does not mean he does too. Be prepared for him not to say it back. If this does happen it is not the end of the world or your courtship. Some people fall in love slower or quicker than others. Live in the moment knowing he knows how you feel. The rest is up to him.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡