7/30/2014- “Woman Drama”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m having some issues with my new girlfriend and I’m not sure what do about them. I have been trying to be friends with my ex girlfriend, and I even introduced her to my new girlfriend. Surprisingly, they hit it off and actually became good friends. I figured I had nothing to worry about until me and my new girl got into an argument. She brought up some stuff from my old relationship to back up fears she has about us being together. My ex claims that she hasn’t said anything to her incriminating about me, but I just don’t know because she has a history of meddling in other people’s business. I did also catch my new girlfriend reading my journal, maybe she found out from there. I doubt that my ex girlfriend would say something nasty about me, due to her deeply spiritual nature. What should I do to patch up things between me and my new girl? I do want us to work out.

-Woman Drama

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7/26/2014- “Prozac & Textbooks”

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Mikey,

My life just got turned upside down. I recently found out my wife is bipolar. She was diagnosed this past week by our doctor.  Honestly, I thought she was just moody but now I see it for what it really is–a disease. For the most part, things are good between us but right now we definitely disagree about her working. She is a Kindergarten teacher and I don’t think she should continue working.  No Child should be subjected to someone with that type of condition. We already have a daughter and I’m keeping tabs on her personally. But the parents of those other kids won’t know she is ill. She feels like I’m being a tyrant, but I’m just trying to protect her and give her an easier life. What do you personally think? I’m good at admitting when I’m in the wrong, but this time in think I’m in the right.

-Temperance

***Temperance, I’d prefer your pen name be “Understanding” or “Empathetic.” Those two things are exactly what your wife needs at the moment.  Just because a person is bipolar does not mean she cannot work as a teacher. As long as she takes her medication and regularly sees a licensed psychiatrist for therapy she should be fine. FYI man people you are not aware of doctors, policemen, specialists, and even some Presidents have mental illnesses and are in no way deficient at their jobs. Don’t allow assumptions and misinformation keep you from fully understanding your wife’s condition or even worse prevent her from living her life!  By the way, keep an eye on your daughter and not because she is in danger from her mother,  but because the condition is hereditary and females are more prone to it. Be a great husband and responsible partner!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

For more information on mental illness please check out the website for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) click the link below:
  National Alliance on Mental Illness

7/26/2014- “How To Deal (Thank You Frankie J)”

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Hey Mikey,

I have to move to New York for a big opportunity. The problem is my girl just got into a really good pre-med program at Emory. Being a doctor is her dream and I can’t ask her to come with me. I certainly don’t wanna stay though and not fulfill my dreams. What should I do because I feel like she’s the one and I don’t want to break up? Still, I know from past conversations neither of us are good at long distance anything.  Please help,  I’m really stressed and pressed by this.

-Dream Chaser

***Dream Chaser, this is one of those double edged situations where you’re hurt and benefitted at the same time.  Honestly, you and your girl have to do what is best for you at this time. If you feel like she’s the one,  and she truly is, then everything will work itself out no matter what life and distance may throw at you. Sorry but life’s not some old Burger King motto, you can’t “have it your way.” The fulfillment of any dream will come with some price. Pay it now and avoid regret later. After all regret is the one emotion you can’t do anything about…

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

7/22/2014- “Commitment Under Pressure”

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Hey Mikey,

I recently moved to Atlanta from Cincinnati.  Before I left I was dating this guy. We broke up because neither of us wanted anything long distance. Now I just found out he has moved down here for his job and he wants to pick up where we left off. I don’t think I want to though. I feel like I wanna date around and see what Atlanta has to offer in the Men’s department, lol. Still I feel like have to date him too. I mean we were pretty serious. Just don’t know if I’m ready for a commitment. What should I do?

-Fresh A-Town Girl

***Fresh A-Town Girl, you don’t need my advice. You’re asking for permission to move on with your life and honestly only YOU can give yourself that power. If you don’t want a committed relationship right now then don’t be pressured into one and play the field. However, I will advise you to be a good girl and let this guy down easy. He clearly likes you to want to restart things now that he’s down here. It’s not cool to string him along with dates and allowing him to think something is going to happen between you two. This is your life darling, take control of it!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

7/9/2014 – “Her Brother’s Keeper”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m having what some people call a crisis of conscience. Last year my ex – fiancé and I called off our wedding because I found out he had been messing around with other guys. When I say messing around I mean having penatrative sex with them. Needless to say it broke my heart. Just when I think I’m getting past all this a little my little brother announces he is going to marry his longtime girlfriend. The only problem is I know he went through a gay phase when he was like 12. I caught him grinding on one of his male friends. It’s a secret I’ve always kept between us but I feel like his fiancée should know. Should I tell her or try to get him to? Somehow she needs to know there’s a possibility her man, my brother is gay.

-Anonymous

***Anonymous, this is a very tricky situation, but it is not the dilemma you are making it out to be. Think back and remind yourself just how young you and your brother both were when this happened. This is not all too uncommon. People forget that sexuality is fluid for both men and women. Just because someone does something once it does not mean they are prone to do it again. The laws of experimentation dictate you try it to see if it is for you or not. Honestly, the real issue is you have not dealt with the issues surrounding the demise of your own relationship. You are still trying to punish your ex, but foolishly attempting to do it through your brother. I advise you to allow yourself to forgive your ex and seek professional counseling. You’re making decisions with a clouded head and broken heart. Darling…that’s never a good look.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

6/24/2014- “The Eighteen Year Itch!”

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Hey Mikey,

I been with the same girl for 18 years now. I met her in middle school and she’s been my one and only since then. Now we are both about to turn thirty and I’m beginning to feel like I’ve missed out on some other experiences.  She’s the only person I’ve ever been with romantically and sexually, and although I do think I want to be with her for the rest of my life, I also want to be appease my curiosity about being with other women. Honestly, I do wanna take a break to explore that but I don’t wanna lose her forever in the process. What should I do? How can I make both us happy?

-Curious Landon

***Curious Landon, to put it simply you cannot have your cake and eat it too.  There’s nothing wrong with being curious, but is it really worth risking your relationship over? Being apart of someone’s life for eighteen years is no easy feat. In fact, very few marriages last that long nowadays. However, if you must explore other options then yes you two do need to take a break. Nevertheless, I forewarn you that this decision may have consequences you do not foresee. She could move on, you could fall for someone else, or the very nature of your relationship could change forever. There’s honestly no real way to make both of you happy when in a situation like this. Be prepared for someone to get hurt. 

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

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Michael "Mikey" Fanning; creator and owner of "HeyMikeyATL"

6/21/2014- “The Right Time”

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Hey Mikey,

Great advice. I have a question for you. How soon is too soon for “I love you?” I can see a great future with this guy Im dating but dont want to rush things.

-Far Too Gone

***Far Too Gone, there is no right or wrong time. It is a matter of having the courage to truly express how you feel.  Nevertheless, I caution you to truly know that you feel this way and really understand what love is. You’ll know when it is truly unconditional, when his needs come before your own, when you know you will be whatever he needs. With that being said, just because you feel this way does not mean he does too. Be prepared for him not to say it back. If this does happen it is not the end of the world or your courtship. Some people fall in love slower or quicker than others. Live in the moment knowing he knows how you feel. The rest is up to him.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡

6/20/2014- “Praying For His Next Move”

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Hey Mikey!

I’ve heard great things about your advice column and wanted to know if I may have your thoughts on a something that is a bit new to me. Well I met this guy at the tail end of April. He is a very sweet guy. Its kind of like we can have a whole conversation w/o even saying a word. I mean like the whole “I was thinking the same thing” spill and finishing each other’s sentences. It was unlike anything I’ve experienced before. I few weeks later, he fell back a little, stating that he felt as if my feelings and emotions were progressing and developing faster than his. I couldn’t deny that… It was just the way he made me feel. We worked on it and slowed way down, getting to know more about each other. We recently hung out after about 6 wks of not seeing each other. I have to admit, seeing him brought on an influx of emotions that I was doing my best to suppress so I wouldn’t make him feel uncomfortable again. It was a cool evening. We played games, watched tv, talked, had a few drinks and grabbed a bite to eat. When it was time to retire for the evening, he made sure I was gonna be ok downstairs on the couch. A lil under the influence, I said yes and reassured that I was. He did caress my face and almost was teasing me. Now like I said before, we have an uncanny connection. I knew I was in the mood, but [couldn't] decipher if it was just me or tension between the both of us. But it was intense. Should I have followed him? I don’t wanna complicate things again with my intense feelings. I dont wanna be naive either! Should I just be cool and let it unfold or try to help steer the course? What do u think about this?

-Praying For That Guy

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The Transformative Power of Friendship–What Zachary Heath Meant To Me…

Zach (l), Me (right) December 2011
Zach (l), Me (right) December 2011

All too often on this site I delve into topics of love and dating. People bombard me with issues of love–how to gain it, how to maintain it, and what to do when it just does not work out. Nowadays the answers seem ever so clear to me. Do “A” to get to “B” so “C” will happen. Simple enough, right? That was not always the case. If you could travel back in time to just five years ago you would have met a very different me. Whereas I currently like to perceive myself as some Bruce Wayne/Batman/Carrie Bradshaw hybrid I was nothing short of an overweight Hulk. Unlike, the raging green hero, however my pain was self-inflicted fueled rejection rather than anger; and tainted by greed rather than righteous fury. One by one, my friends and many family members began to back away from me. I became that dramatic person that one would describe as a “hater.” If it was not for or about me it could quickly rot and burn in Hell. I sowed dissent amongst others better than most demons and pedaled poison in the form of drugs to the masses. These were my sins–I repeat WERE. Then, I just so happened to agree to make, still to date, the best decision of my life and agreed to become roommates with the friend of a friend, Zachary Heath.

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6/7/2014- “Diamonds…Are A Guy’s Best Friend?”

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Hey Mikey,

So…my fiancée and I are kind of nontraditional. She approached me when we met, she pursued me, and she even proposed to me. Everyone thought her proposing to me was wierd but I really wasn’t surprised. She’s a go getter and that’s what I love about her. What I don’t like is how frugal she’s being.  She also went ahead and bought our wedding bands. Hers is diamond studded and mine…zirconia. I’m sort of a trendsetter and hate anything fake. I want to get a new ring but I know she’ll feel a certain way about that. What should I do?

-Engaged & Envious

***Engaged & Envious, yes your fiancée is definitely a go getter. There’s something powerful about a woman going after she wants and getting it. You definitely prove diamonds can be a guy’s best friend too! Seriously though, you both should have the rings that you want–within reason. Find a happy medium between what you want and what’s she’s given you. Keep the ring but swap the zirconia for real diamonds.  That’s a reasonable compromise. Remember the rings are merely symbols of your love. Don’t let this minor monkey stop the showboat of love headed your way. Congratulations!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡