I’m in a very confusing position with this guy. Him and I started “talking” late November and we both seemed to have the same perspective on relationships, as well as many other things. I’d just gotten out of a bad break up and he wasn’t pushing me, but helping me along the way. (This new guy is also my neighbor)
Upon moving back to ATL after Christmas break, he brought me roses and asked me on a date. I said yes, and we both agreed it was by far the BEST date either of us had. Intriguing conversations, similar families, sooo much in common. We got home and he spent the night; no sex of course! We stayed up and just picked each other’s brains. I asked him his impression of me and whether he could see himself eventually, possibly being in a relationship. He said he definitely can, but take it one day at a time. I agreed! To me, one day at a time means casual dating, but not being tied down to each other; going on frequent dates, just hanging out. However, I always have to text/call him first otherwise ill NEVER hear from him; I also have to ask him if we can go on a date, to which the answer is always no.
I brought this up to him and he simply said, “You’re my neighbor, and I admire you”. Are you serious?! He introduces me as his neighbor, and doesn’t like people to see us together that much. I’m beginning to feel like I’m falling for him while he is at a standstill. Recently, he moves away whenever I go in for a kiss, or he’ll kiss me and ask,” Are you happy now?” As if I’m a burden or nuisance. He then confesses that he isn’t an affectionate person, and that he has internal conflict. All I can think is, “why did he pretend to be someone he’s not to impress me, when he isn’t into me?” I want to wait it out, to see that maybe with time he’ll be more open to a relationship; or, am I wasting my time and risking potentially getting my heart broken again? What worries me the most is that he jokes about me cutting him off and being happier without him, or him cutting me off so that I can “move on” so to speak. I repeatedly express my feelings to him; I adore your personality, You make me want to grow and truly experience live at the fullest, You make me crave more of everything, I feel 100% comfortable with you and most importantly myself when you’re around. His response, every time, is, “It’s beautiful that you feel that way; you’re cool” followed with a pinch of my nose. I feel like he has feelings for me, but he doesn’t want to evoke them, but maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part. What steps should I take next Mikey, what do I say, and what do I do? When things between us are great, they’re AMAZING; I can tell in his eyes and vibes that he sees that too. I’m falling for this guy. Please help.
-The Unreciprocated Neighbor
***Unreciprocated Neighbor, this quite a situation. First off, dating a neighbor isn’t the best choice. You never want to shit where you sleep. If or when things go south you could find yourself in an uncomfortable living situation. Nevertheless, I have to let you know he is going to let you down. He, in his own passive – aggressive way; is trying to let you down easy and as painlessly as possible. You, my darling, just aren’t taking the hint.
1. He moves away when you try to kiss him.
2. He excuses his lack of affection on inner turmoil.
3. He tells and jokes with you that you would be better off without him.
4. You initiate contacts and dates with him. Pursuit has now become one-sided.
Trust me you will know when a guy wants to be with you. He’ll almost be like a bulldog, constantly around, and in frequent contact with you to ward off any other suitors. When someone tells you that you are better off without them, even if they say so jokingly, BELIEVE THEM! Beware falling for someone who is not falling for you. You’ll find comfort in the pavement before you find it in their arms. MOVE ON.
☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post. Be sure to pick a code name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey♡