These days it seems as if us millennials use hash tags to describe everything. From #BlackGirlMagic to #Facts and #BossesOnly, hash tags literally sum up every single emotion we feel and translates it into terns we know all too well. One of the most popular hash tags over the years hands down has been #Unbothered. Whether we use it to describe our latest bestie blow up or to explain what we think about our boss passing us over to go with the job’s biggest slacker for a better position, we’ve all been unbothered before. But there’s one problem though. We really are bothered by these things. Do you know how we know when we’re bothered? We feel the need to post a status, a picture or whatever the case may be in order to inform the other party that we are bothered enough to make the situation public knowledge, no matter how “private” we may be.
And you know what, it’s actually okay to let some things bother us. Life itself can be quite bothersome and there are some people and circumstances in our everyday lives that are going to bother us down to the spirit. And that’s a part of growing pains and a part of life. It somehow falls under the umbrella of “Life Isn’t Fair”.
But you know what the scariest part of being #unbothered is? The fact that we’re so ready to acknowledge how much we ‘don’t’ care about a certain situation but we can’t take that same courage and confront it head on. That’s scary. The same boldness we use to subliminally confront our issues is not the same tactic we use to confront the person or thing that’s got us in a tizzy and yes I said tizzy.
What’s so wrong and scary about letting certain things bother us? Is it the fact that we have too much pride to let our friends, coworkers and life itself know ‘hey, you got under my skin and I don’t appreciate that sh*t’. If that’s the reasoning, then I can totally understand because at times I let my pride get the best of me as well but in the same breath, I’m not going to front like you didn’t just come for my spirit. (If you know me irl you know how often I say something is ‘bothering/coming for my spirit’ whether jokingly or seriously.)
Do I think being bothered by someone else’s actions is okay? Absolutely not but trying to bottle in your anger while making this big ass announcement isn’t exactly the right way to go about it either. While our pride may often get in the way, at the end of the day our feelings do matter. The more time you spend mad about a situation or person you’ve subliminally confronted on social media is more time you spend stressing yourself out wondering if and how they’ll reply in the first place and I’m sorry, my time is way too precious to participate in guessing games.
And the end of the day, all I can ask is that you remember to stress less and be real with yourself everyday. And if you have to flock to social media to make an UNBOTHERED statement, be prepared to confront the situation should the person you posted about calls you out on your bull.
Written By: Monique C. Tillman