Advice Column

Leave your dilemma here for a speedy response!

9/27/2016- [VIDEO] “Rose Quartz”

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Hey Mikey,

My fiance and I are at odds big time right now. Recently she found out that she is pregnant. Although that would normally be a happy time for most couples; it could mean the end for us since the pregnancy is life threatening. I’ve had to deal with death all my life–friends, cousins, teammates–I don’t wanna lose her too. I spent all of middle school, high school, and college trying to win her over and now she finally loves me and wants to be my wife. She is intent on carrying the baby to term. I swear if i lose her I really don’t see how I could love this kid. What’s your advice?

-Not Doing The Single Dad Thing

***Not Doing The Single Dad Thing, my advice to you is to live in the moment. A new life is in the works and that is cause to rejoice! This pregnancy is currently life threatening, not life ending and your fiancee needs your support.  Can you imagine how things would be between you two if you don’t and this turns out to be a perfectly normal, trouble free pregnancy and you fought her every step of the way? Every mother knows the risks of giving birth; and that through the pain and labor, miracles are born. Get on board with this, either way your she and/or your son are going to need your strength and positivity, and never your resentment!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

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9/12/2016- “SHE Can Be His Knight!”

connie steven universe hey mikey atl

Hey Mikey,

My daughter is an amazingly strong woman. She is a black belt in karate, an ex-Marine, and now a police officer. Her fiance, however, is some scrawny ass IT Tech. He can barely walk up a hill without being winded. In fact he’s not really good at any physical activities. When we talk about violent situations, he spouts nonsense about him being a “conscientious objector.” I’ve told my daughter about my feelings, but she insists she wants to marry him still, saying she can protect the both of them well enough. I can’t in good conscience hand my daughter over to a man who cannot physically protect her. What should I do?

***Congratulations on raising a superhero! It sounds like your daughter can handle herself pretty well. Besides that she is an adult and I believe she knows what she can and cannot deal with. I understand you may be trying to protect her, but in 2016 women are just as capable as any man to protect and defend themselves–your daughter more so! Her wedding day should be the happiest day of her life, please don’t ruin it with archaic notions of gender roles. She can be his Knight!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

 

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8/11/2016- “Closure With Zaddy”

zaddy hey mikey atl

Hey Mikey,

Soooo I’ve tried to be modern about my break up with my ex. We have even hung out and communicated regularly despite him moving on, getting engaged, and now getting married. I even attended the wedding and befriended his new wife. I was hoping his marriage would be the motivation for me to move on, but I still find myself in love with him and wanting him. I feel like he and I should have a conversation when he comes back from his honeymoon just to kind of clarify where we stand and how we should move forward. What do you think?

-Missing Zaddy

***Missing Zaddy, there is no moving forward for you. The closure you are looking for came with your break up and him moving on with his life. There is nothing modern about continuing a relationship with an ex you still have feelings for, instead it is rather foolish. My dear, if it was meant to be it would have worked out between you and him. Let his wedding and honeymoon be the swan song what remains of your relationship. The future awaits–grab on to it!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

 

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7/18/2016- [VIDEO] “Earthly Tether”

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Hey Mikey,

I am a pretty spiritual person and I believe there is a higher calling on my life. I believe it, and people have told me that all my life. My family is the same way, in fact I come from a long line of pastors, evangelists, and other clergy. I feel it is time for me to fully commit myself to what I am meant to do, but I have been seeing this girl for some years now. We’ve been chaste, but I know marriage is the goal for her eventually. I feel it might be in the future for me, but not right now. Its just that I love her, but I love preaching too. I cannot commit to either fully without giving one up completely. What should I do when my heart screams for togetherness with her and my destiny demands I answer this higher calling?

-Falling

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***Falling, your situation kind of reminds of the teachings of a fictional monk, Guru Laghima, from the series Avatar: The Legend of Korra. In it, a man was able to learn how to fly and achieve enlightenment by “letting go of his earthly tether.” Which means he detached from the things and people that were keeping him grounded and confined. If you truly believe you have a higher calling, then you must be prepared to place your calling before your own personal needs. Pastors, clergy, all of men and women of faith know that higher callings are noble and hard. Just be sure you are not becoming something just because it is a tradition in your family. I think you already know what you must do, this girl is your “earthly tether”  just be sure you let her down easy and pray for her peace as she moves on with her life.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

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7/1/2016- “The Rich Woman On The Hill”

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Hey Mikey,

Some people seem to have it all and it still isn’t enough. My friend of sixteen years is married, has children, a wealthy husband, and she practically lives in a mansion in Alpharetta, Georgia. I’m telling you all of this to say I am tired of hearing her complain about her life! I’m a single mother who works two jobs just to make ends meet for my son and I and she feels her life is so hard. She doesn’t have to work or struggle so I’m not sure why she is always blowing up my phone to vent. I have my own issues and none of them are a petty as hers. I don’t want to cut her off, but I don’t want to keep hearing her bullshit either. What should I do?

-Anti-Housewife

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***Anti-Housewife, I can see your frustration based on your perspective, and it reminds of a sermon by my cousin’s father. He stated to never be jealous or judgmental of the rich woman living in the big house on the hill because you never know what she has endured/is enduring to have those fine things. Think about it. You’ve heard the stories of well to do housewives trapped in loveless marriages, having troubled children, or so bored they have to cause mischief for others. Clearly, your friend sees you as someone strong she can talk to–a lifeline to sanity, reason, and peace of mind. Part of being a good friend is having a listening ear. If you’re tired, suggest she get professional help or find some outlet for her stress. Hope that helps!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

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6/24/2016- “Tango To Hell”

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Hey Mikey,

I’m feeling torn right now. I feel swindled! Swindled out of my girl, and my relationship! My girlfriend of two years just left me for her dance instructor–a guy and an activity I introduced her to! She says she loves him, but that can’t be because she has only known him for two weeks! I really wanna throw the towel in, but I feel our time together is worth fighting for. What do you think?

-Hal

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***Hal, there is nothing to fight for here. I am only telling you this so you can move on just as swiftly. You did not get swindled; she pretty much decided you guys were done and jumped at the first man that piqued her interest. Consider this a bullet you dodged. You have two choices, and neither of them involve fighting for her. You can either wish her well, or tell her to go on and tango to Hell with that dance instructor of hers! Happy Dating, the odds are in your favor, LOL!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

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5/31/2016- “It Can’t Be About Him”

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Hey Mikey,

I really enjoy your site and the advice you give. You  recently helped a friend of mine get through something, and I hope you can do the same for me. There’s this guy I have liked since I was fourteen years old around the same time I figured out I was gay. I know he is too after we messed around when I was 17. Since then we are pretty cool and hang out from time to time, but nothing has flourished beyond us kissing and grinding on that amazing night.

Over the last year I’ve heard him repeatedly say he likes guys with muscles, money, and who are good in bed. Since then I’ve definitely been working out and it shows; and I’m getting a really good job making some major money. The sex part is hard. He’s the only guy I’ve ever been been semi-sexual with–and the only one I want to be. Needless to say I’m a virgin to the whole gay sex thing and I want to get it right with him. He’s the one, I know it. What do you think? Am I doing too much? I don’t wanna wait forever for him to come around…

-CJ

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***CJ, honestly, you are. Believe me when I tell you it can’t be about him. Who you are and how you are is perfectly okay. If he does not like you in that way,or  as you are, then it is his loss. I imagine your first sexual experience with another guy is something you want to look back on without regret or shame. NEVER change yourself for a guy. Change is something you do to better yourself. Besides money, muscles, and sex are fleeting and don’t guarantee you comfort late at night or in the long run. Reassess what you want out of a mate, date other guys, and ask yourself can he bring to the table what he’s demanding? Good luck!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

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