Damage Control: How Cleaning My Closet Cleared My Mind

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“Of course you can borrow an outfit for tonight! But, uhh…please excuse my closet, it’s a little messy.” -Me

My closet was a storage room of updated, and outdated clothes. I was the definition of “so many clothes, but nothing to wear.” The closet was no longer my treasure chest of fashion desires. It became a symbol of unhappiness.

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Financially, a shopping spree was not practical. I am a recent graduate from college and my budget was dedicated to paying off my debts… and food.

But, with the help of a few friends and a change of mindset. I was finally on my road to redemption.

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4/14/2016- “To Slay A Snitch!”

snitch hey mikey atl

Hey Mikey,

How do I deal with somebody I live with (I’m in a boarding school) who snitches on everybody, who everybody hates, but is sweet dicking the staff and they feed into it. I wanna beat his ass, but that means expulsion. how do I get Mr. Snitch to stop and shut his mouth?

-Sam

***Sam, the only way to beat a snitch is by beating them at their own game. Put your fists away and use your wits because getting kicked out of boarding school is never a good look! This kid is probably snitching to the staff because he too has something to hide–something BIG. He is Olivia Pope-ing the situation, by creating a buffer in case there’s ever a fall out involving him. The staff won’t be so harsh with their snitch, similar to how the police are lenient with their informants. Play it safe, and keep it cool, by seemingly befriending them. Learn what you must and then use it. They say keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer. There in lies your plan, and using his own secrets against him is his ammo. Keep me posted!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

4/5/2016- “Bando Bangin'”

bando hey mikey atl

Hey Mikey,

I think I’m ready–ready for sex. I’ve waited longer than all my friends to have sex with for the first time and I think my boyfriend is going to try and make move in that direction on our next date. He told me via text that he found a bando for us to go to that no one uses anymore to spend some time together. I’m a little anxious about the locale, but I feel like its about the act and effort he is putting into things. What are some things we can do to make this more romantic. I don’t want him to feel like I’m not doing my part and bringing something to this momentous event.

-Cassie

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***Cassie…A bando? REALLY!? Yes, I’m judging this situation because it is ludicrous! You should not be losing your virginity in an abandoned house that crackheads and other wanton drug users use for coverage. You only get ONE first time and it should be special. This so-called “effort” your boyfriend is putting in is not enough. A motel at the very least should suffice. Beyond that, I hope you have done your research and are well versed in safe sex and pregnancy prevention. Be careful Cassie and most of all know your worth. There’s no harm in waiting for everything involved in this situation to feel right. Oh, and by the way, you’re bringing all you need to the table–just look in the mirror!

3/23/2016- “Can I Come Over?”

can i come over ey mikey atl

Hey Mikey,

I am wondering what is my next move with the guy I’m currently dating. We have been dating for two months now and I want to step things up. When we are together we are usually going out somewhere, or with friends, and now I’d prefer a more intimate setting like my home, or his. He will come into my house to pick me up or say goodnight, but he does want to sleep over, let me come over, or have sex.

He says he will let me know when the moment is right and that he wants to be the “aggressive one.” Now I’m not pressed or a slut, but a girl has needs. He and I have a great time together, but a good time just is not enough when I’m craving sex and to be touched. My ex-boyfriend has been hitting me up a lot lately. He is definitely a jerk, especially when compared to my current guy, but his sex was bar none! My current guy and I are not committed to each other yet. Should I dabble with my ex and just continue seeing him. AGAIN, not trying to be a slut!

-Vexed in Chiraq

can i come over hey mikey atl

***Vexed in Chiraq, there is no need to worry, I will not slut shame you; and that term definitely should not apply to this situation. You’re obviously a woman who knows what you want and when you want it; and there is nothing wrong with that at all. However, other people also have the right to move at their own pace and comfort level. There could be any number of reasons that he does not want to have sex yet; i.e. abstinent, low sex drive, not in the mood, ad infinitum.

Since you two are not committed, and if you are really wanting to have sex, I would suggest SAFELY feeling your needs with someone else.  NOT with your ex, however! He’s your ex for a reason, and he should stay that way. It’s 2016, and it is a woman’s right to choose who and when she has sex. I’d advise you to let this sex buddy be someone you know you will not fall for, and keep things as light and casual as possible. Good luck!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

3/8/2016- “His Penis, Her Community Property”

sexting hey mikey atl

Hey Mikey,

I am having a serious issue with my girlfriend of three years.  She has totally violated my trust, and I am not sure how we can recover from all of this. Pretty much I went on a business trip to San Diego, and while I was away I asked her to send me some sexy pictures of herself– some new ones. She bought some lingerie and did that; and then asked for some nude pix of me in return. I agreed, that’s my girl, and we sext all the time. I did not think anything of it until my cousin forwarded me those exact  pictures from a gay site; telling me there were pictures of me posted online.

I know I only sent those shots to my girl so I confronted her. She immediately begin to cry, apologize, and revealed she had been forwarding them to her friends–one of them is a flamboyant ass gay dude–bragging about my piece. These pictures have my face in them, and if they reach my corporate office or a client sees them I could be ruined. Is there anyway to erase them off the net? And what should I do with my girl? I’m not homophobic but I don’t want gay dudes drooling over my dick!

-Dicknapped

sexting hey mikey atl

***Dicknapped, BREAK UP WITH HER NOW! You cannot build with someone who has no forethought of the consequences of her actions, or the emotional maturity to know this is wrong. Unfortunately, the rule of the internet is once something is out there–it’s out there–and you cannot take it back. All you can do is learn from this and NOT put your face in nude pictures. That is the number one rule of “Sexting 101.” As far as the gay site goes, contact them and let them know your pictures are being used without your permission. Just keep in mind, so that you never go back this woman, that your dick now belongs to the net!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

 

2/14/2016- “Demetria’s 100” (@demimckinney)

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Hey Mikey,

This has turned out to be the worst Valentine’s Day. The guy I thought was going to be my Valentine has completely cancelled on me. We  met two months ago and hit it off really well. He told me he was looking for a relationship, now suddenly today he says he’s changed his mind and us spending Valentine’s Day together would just give me false hope. It’s leap year so I’ve made reservations at a restaurant, and even bought him this Burberry cologne that he really likes. I don’t know what to do, but I feel cheated and stupid–cheated of my time and stupid for falling for him. Now he’s texting me saying we can at least have dinner. What should I do?

-Feeling The Worst

***Feeling The Worst, follow my exact orders. Block, delete, and remove him from your phone and all social media. Your heart is not some play thing for him to put down and pick up. Although it is his prerogative to change his mind, he has handled this situation poorly. He should’ve taken a lyric from Demetria McKinney’s “One Hundred” and kept it real with you (Currently humming the song in my head).  Save yourself some heartache, have a nice dinner by yourself or with a good friend, take that cologne back and get you a refund, and enjoy a new love–self love! Happy Valentine’s Day! 😙

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

1/23/2016- “The Manly Tramp Stamp”

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Hey Mikey,

It’s time to get tatted again. I have been thinking about what to get tatted and where to get tatted at. Currently I have ink on both my arms, my chest, my back, and my calves. I feel, albeit hesitantly, that I wanna get some ink on my lower back. Yes, a tramp stamp as people call it. I just don’t want it to be “tramp-ish.” My friends say it makes them think a guy is gay and slutty when he has a tat down there. I honestly don’t care about the gay part since I am, but I do want a relationship; and I don’t want to do anything that would deter a guy from wanting to date or get to know me. What do you think Mikey? Side note, I love your Ink My Whole Body posts!

-Inque Plz

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***Inque Plz, first of all stop calling it a tramp stamp. The only reason people think that area is taboo for tattooing is due to what people usually put down there–something highly sexual. I personally have seen everything from stars, to paw prints, to tribal designs all of which imply it is about to go down. Dare to be different, and put something outstanding that still looks good, but does not have a sexual meaning to it. Might I suggest you get an artist to draw something up for you. It should be  something special to you and masculine. Avoid the slanted and pretty things! By the way, doing or not doing something you want to do for yourself just so you can gave a guy is never a good look. If you and he are meant to be it will happen. No tattoo you place anywhere will deter that. Happy inking!