8/11/2016- “Closure With Zaddy”

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Hey Mikey,

Soooo I’ve tried to be modern about my break up with my ex. We have even hung out and communicated regularly despite him moving on, getting engaged, and now getting married. I even attended the wedding and befriended his new wife. I was hoping his marriage would be the motivation for me to move on, but I still find myself in love with him and wanting him. I feel like he and I should have a conversation when he comes back from his honeymoon just to kind of clarify where we stand and how we should move forward. What do you think?

-Missing Zaddy

***Missing Zaddy, there is no moving forward for you. The closure you are looking for came with your break up and him moving on with his life. There is nothing modern about continuing a relationship with an ex you still have feelings for, instead it is rather foolish. My dear, if it was meant to be it would have worked out between you and him. Let his wedding and honeymoon be the swan song what remains of your relationship. The future awaits–grab on to it!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

 

7/18/2016- [VIDEO] “Earthly Tether”

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Hey Mikey,

I am a pretty spiritual person and I believe there is a higher calling on my life. I believe it, and people have told me that all my life. My family is the same way, in fact I come from a long line of pastors, evangelists, and other clergy. I feel it is time for me to fully commit myself to what I am meant to do, but I have been seeing this girl for some years now. We’ve been chaste, but I know marriage is the goal for her eventually. I feel it might be in the future for me, but not right now. Its just that I love her, but I love preaching too. I cannot commit to either fully without giving one up completely. What should I do when my heart screams for togetherness with her and my destiny demands I answer this higher calling?

-Falling

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***Falling, your situation kind of reminds of the teachings of a fictional monk, Guru Laghima, from the series Avatar: The Legend of Korra. In it, a man was able to learn how to fly and achieve enlightenment by “letting go of his earthly tether.” Which means he detached from the things and people that were keeping him grounded and confined. If you truly believe you have a higher calling, then you must be prepared to place your calling before your own personal needs. Pastors, clergy, all of men and women of faith know that higher callings are noble and hard. Just be sure you are not becoming something just because it is a tradition in your family. I think you already know what you must do, this girl is your “earthly tether”  just be sure you let her down easy and pray for her peace as she moves on with her life.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

7/1/2016- “The Rich Woman On The Hill”

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Hey Mikey,

Some people seem to have it all and it still isn’t enough. My friend of sixteen years is married, has children, a wealthy husband, and she practically lives in a mansion in Alpharetta, Georgia. I’m telling you all of this to say I am tired of hearing her complain about her life! I’m a single mother who works two jobs just to make ends meet for my son and I and she feels her life is so hard. She doesn’t have to work or struggle so I’m not sure why she is always blowing up my phone to vent. I have my own issues and none of them are a petty as hers. I don’t want to cut her off, but I don’t want to keep hearing her bullshit either. What should I do?

-Anti-Housewife

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***Anti-Housewife, I can see your frustration based on your perspective, and it reminds of a sermon by my cousin’s father. He stated to never be jealous or judgmental of the rich woman living in the big house on the hill because you never know what she has endured/is enduring to have those fine things. Think about it. You’ve heard the stories of well to do housewives trapped in loveless marriages, having troubled children, or so bored they have to cause mischief for others. Clearly, your friend sees you as someone strong she can talk to–a lifeline to sanity, reason, and peace of mind. Part of being a good friend is having a listening ear. If you’re tired, suggest she get professional help or find some outlet for her stress. Hope that helps!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

5/31/2016- “It Can’t Be About Him”

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Hey Mikey,

I really enjoy your site and the advice you give. You  recently helped a friend of mine get through something, and I hope you can do the same for me. There’s this guy I have liked since I was fourteen years old around the same time I figured out I was gay. I know he is too after we messed around when I was 17. Since then we are pretty cool and hang out from time to time, but nothing has flourished beyond us kissing and grinding on that amazing night.

Over the last year I’ve heard him repeatedly say he likes guys with muscles, money, and who are good in bed. Since then I’ve definitely been working out and it shows; and I’m getting a really good job making some major money. The sex part is hard. He’s the only guy I’ve ever been been semi-sexual with–and the only one I want to be. Needless to say I’m a virgin to the whole gay sex thing and I want to get it right with him. He’s the one, I know it. What do you think? Am I doing too much? I don’t wanna wait forever for him to come around…

-CJ

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***CJ, honestly, you are. Believe me when I tell you it can’t be about him. Who you are and how you are is perfectly okay. If he does not like you in that way,or  as you are, then it is his loss. I imagine your first sexual experience with another guy is something you want to look back on without regret or shame. NEVER change yourself for a guy. Change is something you do to better yourself. Besides money, muscles, and sex are fleeting and don’t guarantee you comfort late at night or in the long run. Reassess what you want out of a mate, date other guys, and ask yourself can he bring to the table what he’s demanding? Good luck!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

5/26/2016- “The Victim Of A Savage”

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Hey Mikey,

I really hate when women say there are no good men. If there aren’t any its because they’ve somehow official fucked them all over! I dated this girl for like two months didn’t push the issue of sex, took her out often, and even introduced her to my family and friends. I really turned her onto some of the finer stuff in life.

After we freaked she tells me she wasn’t looking for anything serious; and that she only wanted to because I have a nice body and a big dick. I know she was feeling me, but now she won’t return my phone calls and shit. Wassup? Did I come on too strong? Her homegirl and I are cool do you think I should get her to see wassup?

-Vince

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5/15/2016- “Mad Day”

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Hey Mikey,

A friend of mine has been going through a lot of stuff lately and I’m really trying to help her get through it. However, when I was trying to get her to open up to me she lashed out at me and said she wasn’t going to tell me shit because she can’t trust me. Three years ago, we had an incident where I got angry with her and used used the “one person rule” and told another one of our friends a secret she entrusted me with. Naturally, there was a big blowout and I apologized, and I thought we moved passed it. When she brought that up I told her that I don’t think we can be friends anymore because friendship is based off of trust. Now I find myself even more worried about her and our other friends are worried about her too; and she isn’t talking to anyone. What should I do? Should I reach out to her? Or just let this friendship go since she doesn’t trust me anymore?

-Exacerbated

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***Exacerbated, Kandi Burruss coined the term best on The Real Housewives of Atlanta when she called it “Mad Day.” That is pretty much when a friend gets angry with you one day and tells your business or secrets to others. Whether you told one person her business, or a thousand people, you were dead wrong! Thus, she is right to be cautious of opening up to you. Trust is like a mirror, when you break it you can piece it back together, but you will always see the cracks. That’s what the trust in your friendship is– a cracked mirror that’s been pieced back together. Foolishly, you find yourself in your feelings when she needs your support more than ever. You need to be the bigger person and reach out to her with two things; a sincere apology and an open ear. FYI, there is no one person rule when it comes to secrets! Keep your damn mouth shut!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

Damage Control: How Cleaning My Closet Cleared My Mind

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“Of course you can borrow an outfit for tonight! But, uhh…please excuse my closet, it’s a little messy.” -Me

My closet was a storage room of updated, and outdated clothes. I was the definition of “so many clothes, but nothing to wear.” The closet was no longer my treasure chest of fashion desires. It became a symbol of unhappiness.

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Financially, a shopping spree was not practical. I am a recent graduate from college and my budget was dedicated to paying off my debts… and food.

But, with the help of a few friends and a change of mindset. I was finally on my road to redemption.

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