5/31/2016- “It Can’t Be About Him”

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Hey Mikey,

I really enjoy your site and the advice you give. You  recently helped a friend of mine get through something, and I hope you can do the same for me. There’s this guy I have liked since I was fourteen years old around the same time I figured out I was gay. I know he is too after we messed around when I was 17. Since then we are pretty cool and hang out from time to time, but nothing has flourished beyond us kissing and grinding on that amazing night.

Over the last year I’ve heard him repeatedly say he likes guys with muscles, money, and who are good in bed. Since then I’ve definitely been working out and it shows; and I’m getting a really good job making some major money. The sex part is hard. He’s the only guy I’ve ever been been semi-sexual with–and the only one I want to be. Needless to say I’m a virgin to the whole gay sex thing and I want to get it right with him. He’s the one, I know it. What do you think? Am I doing too much? I don’t wanna wait forever for him to come around…

-CJ

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***CJ, honestly, you are. Believe me when I tell you it can’t be about him. Who you are and how you are is perfectly okay. If he does not like you in that way,or  as you are, then it is his loss. I imagine your first sexual experience with another guy is something you want to look back on without regret or shame. NEVER change yourself for a guy. Change is something you do to better yourself. Besides money, muscles, and sex are fleeting and don’t guarantee you comfort late at night or in the long run. Reassess what you want out of a mate, date other guys, and ask yourself can he bring to the table what he’s demanding? Good luck!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

4/5/2016- “Bando Bangin'”

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Hey Mikey,

I think I’m ready–ready for sex. I’ve waited longer than all my friends to have sex with for the first time and I think my boyfriend is going to try and make move in that direction on our next date. He told me via text that he found a bando for us to go to that no one uses anymore to spend some time together. I’m a little anxious about the locale, but I feel like its about the act and effort he is putting into things. What are some things we can do to make this more romantic. I don’t want him to feel like I’m not doing my part and bringing something to this momentous event.

-Cassie

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***Cassie…A bando? REALLY!? Yes, I’m judging this situation because it is ludicrous! You should not be losing your virginity in an abandoned house that crackheads and other wanton drug users use for coverage. You only get ONE first time and it should be special. This so-called “effort” your boyfriend is putting in is not enough. A motel at the very least should suffice. Beyond that, I hope you have done your research and are well versed in safe sex and pregnancy prevention. Be careful Cassie and most of all know your worth. There’s no harm in waiting for everything involved in this situation to feel right. Oh, and by the way, you’re bringing all you need to the table–just look in the mirror!

3/23/2016- “Can I Come Over?”

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Hey Mikey,

I am wondering what is my next move with the guy I’m currently dating. We have been dating for two months now and I want to step things up. When we are together we are usually going out somewhere, or with friends, and now I’d prefer a more intimate setting like my home, or his. He will come into my house to pick me up or say goodnight, but he does want to sleep over, let me come over, or have sex.

He says he will let me know when the moment is right and that he wants to be the “aggressive one.” Now I’m not pressed or a slut, but a girl has needs. He and I have a great time together, but a good time just is not enough when I’m craving sex and to be touched. My ex-boyfriend has been hitting me up a lot lately. He is definitely a jerk, especially when compared to my current guy, but his sex was bar none! My current guy and I are not committed to each other yet. Should I dabble with my ex and just continue seeing him. AGAIN, not trying to be a slut!

-Vexed in Chiraq

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***Vexed in Chiraq, there is no need to worry, I will not slut shame you; and that term definitely should not apply to this situation. You’re obviously a woman who knows what you want and when you want it; and there is nothing wrong with that at all. However, other people also have the right to move at their own pace and comfort level. There could be any number of reasons that he does not want to have sex yet; i.e. abstinent, low sex drive, not in the mood, ad infinitum.

Since you two are not committed, and if you are really wanting to have sex, I would suggest SAFELY feeling your needs with someone else.  NOT with your ex, however! He’s your ex for a reason, and he should stay that way. It’s 2016, and it is a woman’s right to choose who and when she has sex. I’d advise you to let this sex buddy be someone you know you will not fall for, and keep things as light and casual as possible. Good luck!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

Taboo to Do: Sex on the First Date?

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When it comes to relationships, there are many things one may deem taboo to do – like asking a guy out on a date, letting the lady foot the bill and one of the oldest in the book; having sex on the first date. But it is now 2015 and I hereby deem all of these things outdated and unrealistic. For instance, there’s this really cute guy you’re crushing on and he flirts with you too. Instead of you asking him out, you wait on him to do it and that day never comes. Why are you waiting on him to make the next move? The same thing with falling into bed with someone.

My personal opinion is this – I believe that after twenty minutes of meeting someone you know whether or not you like them and if you want to have sex with them. You know whether you want to continue on a conversation with them or if you’d like them better with their mouth closed and clothes off. Today I’ve compiled a list of why I think it is perfectly fine to “smash” on the first date.

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Taraji P. Henson (@TherealTaraji) Talks Dating…”Men are not willing to court anymore”!

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Being a successful actress in Hollywood and having the ability to catch millions of viewers attention by the portraying a specific character on TV or the big screen comes very easy for Taraji. Having years of experience under her belt also makes it pretty easy for her to dominate her field of work. All these good qualities should make it very easy to find the right guy who is on the same playing level as you right? Well, this concept is not true for Taraji. She finds it very hard to date because guys do not court anymore. So its safe to say that she is single and her dating life sucks according to her. I find the concept of dating in Hollywood very interesting. You would think dating would come easy for them but apparently it doesn’t. With all the fame, fortune, and credibility, why is so hard for a good woman to find a great guy? Lets explore this topic and discover why some women regardless of their career choice can’t find a good man.

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Kevin Gates (@Kevin_Gates) Keeps Love & Sex in the Family!

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No matter how expensive or how big a family is, it is critical to have family reunions. Why? Because your children need to know ALL of their relatives; everyone from their parents to their distant cousins. If not you just might find yourself in the same situation as rapper, Kevin Gates. Recently, Kevin has been seeing a new woman and he declares she is all of that (and the proverbial “bag of chips”)! In a few recent video posts on Instagram, he announced that people are always telling him he and his girl look like brother and sister. Neither of them ever really paid it any attention until his grandmother met her and confirmed they were indeed related–third cousins!

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12/26/2014- “Blue Pill Christmas”

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Hey Mikey,

So first of all, Merry Christmas brother! I like your site and advice. Keep up the good work! As you know, yesterday was Christmas and for the most part it was good. I was really blessed this year and was able to get my parents, siblings, girlfriend, nieces, and nephews some really nice gifts. Everyone took care of me too–including my girlfriend. Her gift I feel went a little too far though. It was a prescription of Viagra! I opened it in front of my family thinking it was a new hand controller for my X-Box, or that dark Dolce & Gabbana I told her I really like. But no! There it was, and I unwrapped it in front of my entire family. I was visibly upset and embarrassed and I could see in my family’s faces they felt the same way for me. My girlfriend just popped up off the sofa, hugging me saying now we can have some ROCK HARD Fun! I’m like what the f***!? I’m only thirty-seven and we’ve never gone less than thirty to forty-five minutes when we’re having sex. The way I reacted to her was giving her the cold shoulder and silent treatment for the rest of the night. We even got in an argument this morning because she wanted me to take one of those little blue bastards. How can’t she see this isn’t cool? I’m ready to drive her ass back to Mississippi! What should I do? What would you do?

-Embarassed As Sh**

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***Embarassed As Sh** I’d like to wish you a belated Merry Christmas too. I’m sorry you holiday was ruined by this sole inappropriate act. Let me be clear she is absolutely out of line! That is not the type of thing you gift to anyone, especially at a family gathering. What if you had given her something to make her vaginal area moist, or some sex toy in front of her dear old mom and dad? i’m sure the reaction would have been far less fun or funny. What I would do is not important. I do not handle embarrassment well and she would be dropped off at some random MARTA spot on Atlanta’s West Side. Now, as for you, explain the situation to her from your point of view. Let her know the anger, embarrassment, and disappointment you and your family felt when you opened your gift. Go on to explain to her that your sex life is restricted to your bedroom or home and is not to paraded around family and friends, no matter how comfortable you feel around them. Take those “little blue bastards,” as you so affectionately call them and send them to the watery grave in your toilet. I surely hope this will not be a make or break issue for the two of you. If it is, it is her loss! Trust me the water is again your gateway to happy days, it contains plenty of fish who will not need help from a bottle of pills to get off!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡